India: Labour of love.. =)

2011-05-10T12:23:00.000+05:30

https://www.nsr.org.my/fwbPage.jsp?fwbPageId=NSR_RecognizedQualificationListing

Missing: My warm heart...

2011-04-24T14:43:00.025+05:30

Joy shared is doubled, but sorrow shared is halved...
A friend who shares your joy AND sorrow is a true friend...

Choose either not to be sorrowful OR not to be joyous... =P
but...
if you choose the latter, you might not have friends at all...
so why not be joyful and have some friends to share your joy with, at least...? =]

If we define 'true friend' in the context of Mathematics, it means to say that this is not a true friend,
but we can choose to ignore Mathematics because they say: 不要对朋友太斤斤计较 mah~... xD

From these few years away from home, i learn that,

Behind everything, there must at least be a reason...
but...
Only when we are willing to accept the fact that everyone has their own thinking and own problems
and
take time to appreciate their beauty,
it's then when
we will care to understand or accept people for who they REALLY are...

We all long for people to love and understand us...
but sometimes,
we forget to be frank & honest to others; which is the key to be understood...

Hmm... sometimes i wonder,

if everybody waits to be understood, how will the number of understanding people gonna increase in this world at all?? xD ^^

i have to keep in mind that:
To achieve veritable happiness , never hope for any, any, any good returns... =)
Never do things for the sake of benefaction...
Life'd then be filled with surprises always...! ^^ ;)
don't know if it works for you...? =) haha..try it? :)))

Life's unfair...
but
it has never been fair for everyone...
so that makes life
fair... :-)

My last post here... :)

2010-07-05T12:43:00.017+05:30

Tomorrow or day after tomorrow, we; my housemates and i, will not have internet connection at home anymore~ >.< hehe..i wonder what will 3 of us do for the next 33days... :p study..??? i hope so~ =S
hmm...Let's see. ^^ XD

Well~actually, studying will be the only thing i can and supposed to do at home~ :D
Ok Ok..I WILL... :-)
and i hope all of us will.. :)

Can't believe it..i am leaving India in 33days... :)
Goodbye,India...Goodbye, 'Labour of Love'... =]

Back home= time to concentrate on being a responsible medical student so that i will be a doctor, as good as possible, in future... =]
Yes. i will try my BEST. :-l

No more playing a fool,

No more clumsiness,

No more nonsense (when it is unnecessary;but of course, nonsense will be still there..it is pathognomonic to me!). :p

No such thing as being afraid.
医生要胆大心细! :-l
and hard work+sincerity is they key to achieve this......
i believe that '心细' can only be achieved when i am well-prepared..
and without strong,unshakable foundation of knowledge in my head, i can never be confident/careful
(Note: Patients come without prior notifications of their diseases).. :-l

and 医者父母心.
i am not a parent yet...but i will try my best to be as loving, responsible, non-judgemental and accepting as possible..
also...
to be harsh whenever needed. :-l

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在印度过的难忘生日......=]

2010-07-01T23:30:00.034+05:30

1JULY2008...

This is the 1st picture all of us took together...It was also our very first gathering... (minus TingYoong) =) i am proud that it fell on my birthday...

i still remember the taste of this birthday cake... =) *and i was indeed very touched, actually*
i wonder who bought it for me~ :-)

i still remember that Betty was the one who've asked me to choose the venue for my birthday celebration~ XD Thank you, Betty~ :)

This picture was taken at Coffee Day..(it was my 2nd birthday celebration after the one at Dollops) ^^
Thank you PauShan,Amrita and Lingges... :) yah~ amrita was the photographer~ :)
XOXO to all of you.. :-* ^^
and i love the chocolate cake with waaaarrrrmmmm chocolate toppings!... =) ahhh~ ^__^

Ah yes, we went to KMC to play after Dollops, remember...? =)
it was our 1st experience of monsoon season at manipal~ :-)Hehe~ they lied to me~ =D *Pick up the candle with your mouth* (konon) =.=" ^.^
--> this is the result of 'automatic obedience'... XD =) but i was really happy n it was unexpected!! :D =)
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1JULY2009...
It was supposed to be raining...Maybe, it was fated not to rain at 930pm... =) :p
If not, i would't be able to see this beautiful scene from my balcony... :)
Thank you,to everyone and to the person who've done so much for me (HuiPheng) ,
also to housemates and not to forget, to the person who've came out with this idea for your efforts to make me happy on my birthday ... =) *touched*
Although i didn't manage to taste this..but i can feel your sincerity, LeeMin... =)
Thank you sooooo much... :)

(^^)y *peace*
You know what..? =) My birthday wishes actually came true!.. (a junior reminded me..) :)
Coz all of us have passed 2nd year uni together..and mum and dad are well and happy till today... =]
Thank You, dear God~ =)

here they are!.. ^^ They were my 21st birthday surprise!... XD :p *bluek* =) hehe!!

**The picture of mum's birthday present for me is gone with my old laptop~ but it is safe and sound in my heart now... :)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1JULY2009 seems like yesterday~
time flies... =]
1JULY2010...

These flowers are from honey Bee-Bee.. ^.^ They are my very first 22nd birthday presents.. =)
Arigato gozaimasu, Bee-Bee~ ^.^My birthday cake~ =) <3 style="font-family:lucida grande;">
:-) Cutting my birthday cake~ :p
Thank you, HuiPheng dearest~~~ :-))))so sincere of you... =) so sincere of PheiWoon too~ :)

My surprise ice-cream treat~ <3My dear Hazwani~ ^^My birthday messages written on the bus window~ :p ^^
Thank you, Hwee Wen and all friends~ :) i was really really really touched..... T___T :)
THANK YOUUUU!!! =D

Collection of my 22nd birthday gifts~ :)

Me, beamed with joy!.... ^.^ =))))

SPECIAL THANKS to HweeWen, PheiWoon, Hazwani, HuiPheng, Sian Lin, LeeMin, Betty, Cathy, Lingges, Everlyn, SokBee, PauShan, Dawson, chinese gang, group mates for making my birthday a memorable one.. :)
also, thanks to others who've wished me on my birthday.. ^__^
Honestly,
This is my happiest birthday at Manipal... also my last one here... :)))

THANK YOUUUUU!!!!!!! =) <3

Happy birthday to me...! :-D

Dear God~
please make my birthday wishes for this year come true again..... :)

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Hmm..i start to ponder over SUICIDE after today's morning lecture.. =/

2010-06-18T17:59:00.009+05:30

Is suicide an act to be viewed with despise?
I do agree that if you were to judge someone, FIRST, walk a mile in his/her shoes..

However, in life, we can't expect people to always have to walk in our smelly shoes and leave us bare-footed, being indifferent to the problems we are facing; as if we're waiting for sympathy.
Not only that our 'shoes' seldom fit others perfectly BUT everyone has their own shoes to walk in! =P

After a fall,
instead of expecting people to walk in our shoes, why not STAND UP and walk OUT of the problems you are facing BRAVELY towards a new chapter of life, in YOUR VERY OWN SHOES...?! =)

After all,the 'shoes' (choices) are yours and whether you will/will not live a happy life, the motivation has to come from deep within
although it cannot be denied that moral support is a wonderful adjuvant; best if at all available.. :)
but the radical cure always always lies in yourself..You are what you think you are.

If you feel that you've lost everything in your life, please don't forget that you are once borned with nothing. (No greed. No materialism. Nothing) and you've brought nothing except for yourself into this world as well.. =p
note: what your parents had when you were born are not of your own hard work..never consider them as yours.. :p even if you do, please do remember to repay~ (not necessarily with money; although this is a loan that shouldn't have any due date!) :p =D
If you're able to rise up to the level prior to your fall when you brought nothing on the day you were born, i am sure that you can reach up to that level again if you are really determined!.. =)

If you feel that you've lost everyone in your life, please remember that YOU, yourself, is SOMEONE.. Why not start anew as someone to others instead of waiting for others to recognize you as 'someone'?.. >__<

Whenever you feel not appreciated, start appreciating! =)
May i know how do you expect others to appreciate you if YOU YOURSELF is not appreciating yourself for who you are..?! :-/

Yes, you may think that you are good-at-nothing; neither gifted nor talented & have lost every single piece of luck in your life.
But
if you choose to end your life, just because on the spur of the moment,your mind's been so tensed up that your thoughts encircle only within the vicinity of your miserable delusions of worthlessness and that everything should always come in YOUR WAY or should ALWAYS be yours, then i personally feel that it's nothing but selfishness/even laziness.

If you are not talented, work harder because even if you are so called 'talented' but don't make use of your talents, it's less likely that you will succeed as well!.. :p
Plus, you never know what your hidden talents are, until you keep trying.
If you give up prematurely, you are officially declared as 'one with no talent'; not even having the talent to survive as a human being.. (Even small animals have this sort of talent.) *bluek* :p <--oops~

Life may be hopeless for you BUT let me remind you that LIFE IS SUPPOSED TO BE HOPELESS.. =)
Give, and never be hopeful that you'll gain any good return.. It's then when you'll feel contented for what you are having.
They say: One who has enough is rich! :)

You are never the worst
and
even if you think that you are, you can never be the worst in ALL ASPECTS of life; unless you choose to be.
You may not be capable to contribute much but simply with your love and little chores that you can offer to people who are in worse conditions than you are, you can be useful.
Yes, you are.. :-)

"Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat."
Mother Teresa
i believe that there are many people who still need you; provided that you are willing to be there for them.. =]

Life is meaningful when you don't confine the meaning of it merely to a sole aspect/even a narrow range of aspects..
There are many many other things you can do in life..

EARN, but they must not necessarily be THINGS..
You may have NOTHING.. but please at least keep in mind that you can always be SOMEBODY~ =) and that's when thing's will naturally flow back into your life again..! ^^ :-P

Once you exist, life's of no exit.
All you can do is just to move forward courageously.. :-l

Never regret for what has happened..Take them positively and learn from them or you can even pass those lessons you've learned to people whom you care about~ >__<

Instead of dying and turning into humus, useful only to plants as fertilizers; in which ALL living organisms on Earth can do, BE USEFUL in your own way.. :) and there's no need to pressurize yourself as well, since you don't have to please EVERYONE on Earth.. Okie..? >__<

*Cheer up* :) ^__^

*Cheer up* :) ^__^

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Craving for a library at home. :p

2010-06-12T22:43:00.010+05:30

Dear my favourite place ; library, the only place i find comfort & joy (when reading) besides my room (which is purely for sleeping & onlining) :p ,

i will have to restrain myself from coming to you... :(
Goodbye~ =(
Will miss you badly since i am leaving manipal soon.. >.<

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i want my home to have lots and lots of books in a biggg biggggg wooden rack, aircond and a biggg biggggg comfy study table at home in future... =))))) *Ahhh~~how i wish* ^____^ <--dreaming :p

Having a sudden interest about 'introverts'.. =P

2010-05-30T14:42:00.003+05:30

http://domwebserver.hitchcock.org/mbti/ISFJ.pdf

Please try reading if you are interested .. >__< ^^ =p

Voice of my heart~

2010-05-16T16:34:00.012+05:30

i wish..but i never seemed to succeed..

My scientific perspective regarding mistakes.. =p

2010-05-02T19:06:00.028+05:30

If i were to be optimistic,
i'd learn from my mistakes & try to be a better person
in spite of
having to lose some valuables
to pay for the lessons learned for me move on... =)

If i were to be a pessimist,
i would say that:
The flow of life is just like the flow of blood within the arteries..
Once there's defect in its wall,
Plaques,
which resembles the mistakes which accumulate
will gradually occlude the lumen for life to move on..
The more mistakes you make, the lesser blood supply there'll be..and..
The more complications there are..

The pain of chronic ischaemia is the cry of dying nerves,
the stress of anaerobic metabolism..
A state of hyperaesthesia so silent that others can neither feel nor truly understand..

No,
Time won't heal..
Delay will just increase the chance of dreaded complications..

Ignorance produces further ischaemia..
Blood can no longer deliver oxygen to care for the distal part of life,
and
Slowly,
painful ulcer,
produced by those trauma during the turbulence of life..
will be superadded with infections..

ischaemia+superadded infections= gangrene
Gangrene, so cold and dry you are that
you never forgive, almost impossible to heal.... =(

Dearest Gangrene,
no no, i don't want to call you Gangrene..i want you as part of Me, me, me....
It will be sad to remember that you were once, part of me..

i want you as you were... :'(

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but then again,
in this case, optimism has to set in.. :p
To prevent this,SS,
at the earlier stage/ when you start to feel the claudication,
Go for sympathectomy/balloon angioplasty/etc lo.... ^___^

Don't ignore and don't give up lo, if you don't want to let go.... >__< >__< *consoling myself*
=p (^^)y
So..?
the moral of the story is: Correct mistakes whenever possible..? ^^ lol.. =)

However, Please never regret because it's too late.. =]

Smile because it has happened.... =)

p/s: Dear friends, if i've ever hurt you at any point of your life, Please do forgive me.. i've never intended to... =(
Please..never let our friendship turn into gangrene..
Never slough off from me....:(
i'd be horribly septicaemic+will miss you badly.....
---------------------------------------------------

It's 100days away, towards a place called H-O-M-E..
i will bring all the happy memories back.. and hope to leave all the sad memories here in india..

Back to Malaysia= the end of 'India: Labour of Love'..
i feel a little heavy-hearted though,since i know that i might never come back again..
Thinking back what has been happening for the past 2years plus at Manipal,
i start to miss the past.. and i will miss you soon too, bloggie.. :((( (e.m.o :p LOL)

Quoted from a friend: Sometimes, it's not the bad memories that makes you sad
but
it's the best ones which you know will never happen for the second time.... :-(

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Yay! i finish emo ady!.. ^____^ :p
Thanks for reading/ bothering to visit my page~ =)

Smile~~ :) ;)
----------------------------------------------------

Choi Siwon ^^

2010-04-17T23:36:00.010+05:30

This is the 1st time in life, i put up an actor's photo at anywhere related to
LIM SIN SIUEW... :D
Have never been interested to know more about these handsome actors b4... =D
Even this time, i just put this up for fun only (thanks to Pheiwoon :p)

Like what she suggests, dun be sad, when i sad, think of her bf....but instead of rampas-ing her bf, i think of my own one la.... =PPP *kemmu kemmu* :D

Wah..ok lah...
My definition of handsome is this lah..183cm leh.... =D :p muahaha.. <-----CRAZY girl.. ^_^ haha!

*pardon me*

Nah...just playing a fool...please don't take it too seriously...

This is not my real definition of handsome... >_<
The "ugliest" person in the world can be most handsome to me.. =)
and
The most "handsome" person in the world, might not be handsome to me at all.. >_<
*with terms and conditions, of course* :-)

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R.A.N.D.O.M

2010-04-15T18:53:00.004+05:30

Life's always a bed of roses of friends..with thorns hidden within its beauty & sweet aroma..
Pluck the rose you have chosen together with its roots, never destroy its life
but
Please don't grip that rose, you've chosen ,too hard and hurt your palms..
Hold it gently but firmly~ and admire it's beauty..

Not only it won't fall onto the ground..
but perhaps,
it will be fruitful and remain as yours.. >_<
but
if being with you will wither the rose, and letting the rose alone at its natural habitat will make it blossom, please remember how to let go..

To let go, is the hardest but most worthwhile thing to do..
especially if your climate is one that will never suit the rose at all..
No point keeping a withered rose~ you don't belong with each other...

However, i still believe that if you nurture the rose with care,
it will be able to feel your sincerity....... =]

These are the prerequisites needed when you plan to pluck a rose.. =)
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If possible, grow a plant that suits you climate..
and nurture it with care..
So that it will never die unnecessarily....

Perhaps it won't live forever...
but at least,
both parties will be happy.... =)

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Yes..It's me..i am unhealthy..and i have no control over it... :(

2010-03-23T20:59:00.008+05:30

(cut and pasted) :-) i like this because it's me...me..me.... =)))

Definition of health (medicine lecture :p) -->
WHO defines health as "a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity."

Perhaps no one will understand how we feel.. =D

But..

:-)
*sobs* touching-nya.....

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Accept me or leave me for who i am.. =P

For those with HH, please remember that no one can belittle us except ourselves.. :) ;)
and
if by chance, we recover one day, since we understand how it feels, at least we'll be the normal ones who will not discriminate people with HH/people with any other diseases in the world ok!?.. =)

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Whatever it is,

i will concentrate on being a gooooooood student 1st, now.. ^.^
i take this as a blessing in disguise,
a little challenge from God to mould me into a stronger and stronger person, day by day... =)

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HH did affect my life...quite a lot indeed....
it contributes to my low self esteem, low confidence, poor social skills ..(i dare not lay my palms upon human beings when they are wet..)

i am worried.. :'( *sobs*
i wanna TOUCH ..i wanna PALPATE.....i wanna PERCUSS..........
i wanna be a good doctor... :'(
i want to touch without worries,with all my heart.......
i want my patients to feel comfortable....... :'(
i wanna be a good future doctor who can at least HOLD a child's hand to guide him/her write
A B C..
Then i'll at least be confident enough to become a paed/a gynae.. :) *sigh...* :(

Nvm.. ^^ i will try my best to overcome it 1st..and my last option would be surgery. :-l )
but right now, the risks are just too terrifying for me.. :(
n yah.. :p i dun wanna be left for a better lady than i am in future;if ever,anyone will be willing to "accept" me(but transiently)... >.< (ahh..ok,this is crap.. :p)

i feel insecured with anyone.. Only feel secured and loved when i am with myself+my books+my family members (n true friends,perhaps..?) *shrugs*.. =]
because they never judge me for who i am.. :'(
that is why i love them... :-)

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p/s: i am sorry..i have to let this out..i felt very down during O&G just now actually..... =]
but i am not discouraged.. ;) =) NEVER! :-l ^^

SS..Shall i compare thee to a degenerating joint.. =P

2010-01-24T16:00:00.006+05:30

Hehe.. :p

2010-01-23T08:55:00.004+05:30

Hmmm....
This is posted to remind you to go study! =D
geee...please stop coming online and go study now k!..Can finish wan...
but
have to concentrate la... ^^
(aiyak, sendiri also still stuck at block1 =P)

*Hope this helps a bit to remind you to go study now and...
Remember........stay positive always! =D

~SMILE~ =)
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p/s:
SS...it is okay.....it is good that you wake up; at least,now...
Now you see with your own eyes--> the truth... =]
sigh...some truths are indeed painful..but truth=truth.. >.<
This time,i am sure that it is not a false positive result anymore..

i wish that it is a blessing in disgust.. =)

Anyway,
it's good that you realize early...
Doubts cleared.So what else?!
TIME TO STUDY HAPPILY!!!.... ^_^ yay!!!..... =))))
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1st New Year Present.... =)

2010-01-18T13:29:00.010+05:30

Mr.Vinod: When you believe that you can do it, you can do it. I believe that you can do it.. *smiles*

Yes,Mr.Vinod..
i believe that i can do it too!!! :-l ^^
this mantee will not disappoint you.. =)

IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO START.

Mr.Vinod, don't know why but i always feel better and more confident after talking to you..... =))))

Yes,
3weeks is enough... :-)
IT IS. =D

but if you are lazy+keep feeling discouraged,
even 3months IS NOT ENOUGH... =P ;)

-------------------------------------

Feeling a little better.. =)

2010-01-15T10:10:00.004+05:30

Thanks, Cathy.. :)

You've made my day...

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Now that people have tried their bests to help me,
it is time to help myself.. :)

Enough with these vicissitude of emotions..
i shall build up my intrepid spirit to FIGHT now. :-l

uh-oh~ haven't start studying!!.. =P better start now.. ^^

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p/s: sigh..i have commited too much of sins within these few months..
Perhaps there is no U-turn for those mistakes which i have made..
but
i wish i am forgiven for all my sins..

it feels bad when you will never be forgiven by another person..
but
it feels even worse if i don't forgive myself as well... =]
LIM SIN SIUEW. i forgive you for the last time... :'(

God, you will forgive me too,right...? =]
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2010-01-14T16:13:00.000+05:30

i can't..i can't.. i can't........... :'(

A paroxysm of emotions..

2010-01-14T13:15:00.007+05:30

It is a month away to Chinese New Year.. ^_^

Means: Exam is very near too..
My study break starts tomorrow.. =P =(
The first half week of my study break is gone with the wind.. =P
Study plans has been displaced by
emotions and unecessary knowledge
instead of
knowledge required for exam.. =D

Emotions, emotions, emotions..
Ahh...
Take my heart away and do anything you want with it,
provided that you return it back to me; whatever condition it is in..
i need it back to cherish/to heal..and to love you for who you are again..

i understand that i am weird (maybe to you, but to me, i am unique.. =P lalala)
it is okay if you don't understand the truth behind
because
i can't understand you too..but i wish i could...

i guess, it is no use to say anything more if someone
will not open their hearts and have the patience to
allow me time to gesticulate..
i presage that such kind of friendship will not have a good prognosis too..

but what i want to say is that
i will accept and love you with all my heart always; provided that you are someone without any evil intention.. (not to harm physically or affect mentally as well)
If you want to gain my trust,
that is the one and only criteria you need.. >.<
but i am not sure about what do i have to do to gain yours.. =(
------------------------------------------------

For the 3days "wasted"..
i'll take it as a trip to learn a little lessons of life..
a "trip" to stand up as a stronger person.. :-l
and
i am glad that i have found someone whom i would accept and trust for my entire life (i think), besides my mum.. =)
i trust my instinct this time..
Thank you..
and
i hope you know that i am talking to you.... :)))
------------------------------------------------
YOU DESERVE TO SMILE..form deep within... ☺

Keep only valuables in your heart..
and
let those treasures shine with a clinquant glow... =)))
------------------------------------------------
if the spirit i am having now persists, i am sure to die.
but
NO.i won't die,i won't rot.
i will pick up those broken pieces and mend them back NOW.
i won't let you affect me.
i must let those who love me affect me more.
For my loved ones,
NO MATTER HOW HARD IT IS, I WILL FIGHT. :-l

2010-01-13T11:13:00.009+05:30

------------------------------------------

Facebook..
a paradise you can be..
and at the same time,
a hell you can be too..

Sometimes, it is better not to see and not to hear and not to know anything.. >.<
Face medical books---> "heaven"
(pure,innocent, no evilness and full of knowledge which are useful) =D >.<

Now my only entertainments left are:-
1) eat
2) sleep
3) study
4) music
5) talk to mother and true friends.. :)

Nothing should entertain me more within this 1month.. =D

i will sequester myself into my very own world..
Let peace ,kindness and love flow in profusely... =)

Plant in more love especially for those who deserves.. :)
and..
never hate... =))))

(-_-) 阿彌陀佛.. :)

<3 <3 <3
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The Noble Eightfold Path..

2010-01-13T08:33:00.006+05:30

..is one of the principal teachings of the Buddha, who described it as the way leading to the cessation of suffering (dukkha) and the achievement of self-awakening.It is used to develop insight into the true nature of phenomena (or reality) and to eradicate greed, hatred, and
delusion. =)

Division	Eightfold Path factors	Acquired factors
Wisdom (Sanskrit: prajñā, Pāli: paññā)	1. Right view	9. Right knowledge
Wisdom (Sanskrit: prajñā, Pāli: paññā)	2. Right intention	10. Right liberation
Ethical conduct (Sanskrit: śīla, Pāli: sīla)	3. Right speech
	4. Right action
	5. Right livelihood
Concentration (Sanskrit and Pāli: samādhi)	6. Right effort
	7. Right mindfulness
	8. Right concentration

Sin Siuew... Use this table as a guide of your actions..please remember.... =)))

i love this table.. :))) >.<
-------------------------------------------------
and mami.... i am sorry because i forgot for awhile the things you told me; which i have once promised myself to use it as my principles of life..
i'll write it down again as my reminder... :-)))

知knowledge
忠faithfulness
孝filial piety
仁kindness n consideration about others
爱love
礼 manners
义right conduct, morality(righteousness)
廉 honesty
耻 disgrace.

i am sorry mami.. i am sorry Lord Buddha.. i am forgiven provided that i try to change, right..? :) right...? :'( :'( *sobs*
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"The lab diagnosis of true friendship starts with microscopy.. True friends can only be seen under dark ground microscope; when the background is so dark... but.. Normal friends are only to be gram stained.. They only colour your life with your favourite colours under the light microscope..and they don't appear to be right even if you apply the decolouriser for just a second less/extra...

True friends cannot be determined macrosopically.. and true fiends can be cultured but they grow very slowly...

Perhaps, sometimes, the colonies have not appeared yet but doesn't mean that they will never appear..
Have patience... (-_-) =)"
---------------------------------------------
Dear God, All these are just challenges to make me improve on myself, right....? =] :'( :'( :'( Whatever it is, i still believe that You've arranged them for me because You love me... :-) i love You too.. and also you, my mami... :) ^^
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God, i will listen to you... =) You don't have to worry about me, okay..? >.< =)
Thank you for your soothing teachings....*hugs* =)))

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Chronic Osteomyelitis

2010-01-11T15:00:00.009+05:30

Dear Staphylococcus aureus,
'The Seeds of Gold', you are so called..
and
Yes,
You may be perfect in everything..
but
have you ever realised how infectious you are..?

Dangerous normal skin flora,
You have spreaded hematogenously..
Oh but please stop clotting with your coagulase positiveness
and
please stop showing your catalase ability by breaking down self esteems
because hydrogen peroxidase is needed to assist those healing processes...
and ahh..
Your combination of virulence factors is enough to kill;
a slow and silent death..

Why did you attack only the weaker ares out of so many blood vessels..?
Because capillary blood flow is slower..? They are easier to be bullied..?

And now,
are you happy to see those large areas of necrotic tissues..?
No,
Maybe you don't and you don't want the same to happen to you, do you..?

Those feelings, kept deep inside,
are just like soft abscesses, surrounded by a hardening involucrum..
and these feelings are not at all pleasant; often creating a high pressure.. :(

Dear Buddha,
Thanks for creating this sinus tract
for me to at least find people who share the same thoughts as mine.. :)
(even if these people don't, i am glad that they understands me and love me for who i am) :))) =D

i am glad to find these cloaca and to be given the opportunity to be a cloaca as well,
to drain out those abscesses..

All in all,
The most sensitive antibiotic to stop those abscesses
from getting formed continuously
is me.. :)

S.aureus,
i don't want to kill you but please don't kill me 1st..

but
it is okay,
S.aureus..
You are ubiquitous and i can't control you..
but
i can control myself.. :)

and dear S.aureus..
Please remain with your family if possible,
because they will be the ones who love you for the way you are..
Don't infect the innocents.. :D
-------------------------------------------

i never knew that you are soooo precious to me! =)

2010-01-08T17:01:00.003+05:30

Phone oh baby phone.... :)))

Thank God i have found you! =D

It all started when i had my lunch at food court; Asian K..
i always like to sandwich my phone between my wallet
so as usual, today, while paying for my meal, i took it out and put in at the counter,
and have totally forgotten about it! (for the 1st time of my life!) :-O

i've only realised that it was missing when i needed my alarm clock at the library to time myself for each past years' papers remaining to be completed!.. =O

That was when i got panicked! =D

i still have Rs2000 calling card credit remaining inside my phone n i didn't copy the code number down..! it was already 12:20pm..and the best part was that i still had 4past year papers to look at.. =P

Didn't have the mood to concentrate so spontaneously, i got up and walked FAST towards food court to search for my dear phone..

( Oh before that: i've even searched for it in the toilet and have even looked into the toilet bowl to see whether it has fallen inside! =P
Can't imagine what the 'tempe' will think about me when i dashed into the toilet when she was about to enter! =D =P)

So okay..
Back to food court. =P
i lengthened my neck like a giraffe to get a closer and more precise view of whether my phone is anywhere near the place i used to be sitting and it was nowhere to be found... :(

Then i asked one of the waiters of Asian K whether he has seen any HANDPHONE but he gave me a SPOON instead! =D i thought i've said LOUD enough and i've even showed the sign of handphone a.k.a sticking my thumb and little finger out+ folding the other fingers within my palm + putting at my ear...? =D
Never mind... ^^

Luckily, the other guy said YES and that he'd passed my phone to the food court manager..

EXCITEDLY, i asked: WHERE??! WHERE??!! WHO IS THE FOOD COURT MANAGER!
*with eyes beaming with joy* <--maybe due to sympathetic stimulation-->mydriasis

He pointed to a middle-aged man and said: That oldddddd man..in blue shirt and white hair.. =D

but
that man was already so far away.....
Felt a bit weak when i thought of the distance to run but
i told myslef NOT to procrastinate! =D

SAVE MY PHONE!!!!!! :-l ^_^

Like a cheetah, (or i shall say--> MAD girl) =P
i sprinted at the speed of an Olympic gold medalist to chase him and ALAS! i've managed to stop that guy, right in front of the admin building!!!

My excitement reached its peak when i saw him holding my phone! =D

and so i stammered: Siiiiir, caa caan you please return me my phone? =P *saliva dribbling; impatient to get back my phone*
(couldn't find words to ask him in a polite way)

He looked at me with his spectacles lowered and asked: You are the owner?
As if i was having 'Floppy head syndrome', i nodded many,many times, indicating that it ws mine.. =P

i thought he would return me my phone immediately but NO.. :(
i didnt know that it took such a long procedure just to get my own phone back.... :(

1) Had to wait for the chief warden
2) Give identification points of my phone
3) Give my number so that they could miss call me
4) Sign 1 book and 1 paper

So troublesome... :(

but
at least i've got my baby phone back.... =)))
awwwww..
*hugs+muax muax* (^x^) :D

Before i left, the manager told me: You are lucky to find your phone..People normally won't see their phones anymore because bos will keep it a.k.a chief warden.

Wow......i wonder how many mobile phones our dear chief warden is having..... :-S hrmmmm... O.o

Nah..maybe not many.... =P because to find a person as blur as me is quite difficult la, honestly.. =P LOL =D
never mind..
That's my characteristic feature and i enjoy being blur... =)) =PPP <3 <3 <3

So.. As a SUMMARY:
Please do not forget your belongings at the food court because it may be the last time you will see your loved ones<--things,i mean.. ^^ and unless you have plenty of time or at least, not in a hurry, provided that you are lucky enough to ask FAST enough and can roughly remember where you've misplaced your missing dear belonging, DON'T leave your loved ones-->things at the food court... =P

Thanks. =P
-----------------------------------------------------------------

不能说的秘密..yet i have said it,anyway; that is if you get what i mean.. >.<

2009-12-28T11:09:00.005+05:30

To my friends:
You may hurt me..
You may think that i am boring..

but

these will never stay long in my heart.. =)

i will still like you for who you are no matter what.. =)

because i believe that: How good you treat me depends on how good i treat you..
Perhaps..

An innocent and true friendship..
is like your own reflection seen from a clear river..
The flow of this friendship is comparable to the flow of the river that will never end forever..
and as it flows further into the ocean,
it grows deeper.....and deeper.. =)

So,
i still believe that the problem lies in me..
it's me who is not good enough.. :'( it's me..it's me..it's me...... :((((

i will never blame you..
but sometimes i wonder: do i have to initiate always...? :(((( okay...i don't mind...but it'll be a bonus if i don't have to.. >.< ^^

i just wish to love and accept every single person i regard as my friend for their beauty n flaw always.. :-)

i am sure that i can do this.. =) but i cannot understand why this fails to happen to me instead..all the while.... :(
(i know that i shouldn't expect for any return but i am made up of flesh and blood too, after all... :( i am neither an altruism-machine nor our ever-noble God; though i wish i could be,sometimes........ :(((( ) haha..oh my......*start dreaming* :p =D ^^

Oh i plead you all to accept me for who i am.. :( <---eee..but it sounds a bit desperate hor? ^^ :p

it is so simple yet so complex.. :(
"Bertepuk sebelah tangan, tidak mungkin akan berbunyi.."
In order to find 'tangan', i understand that i have to be a good 'tangan' myself..
but
i feel that am not a bad person...... :((((
i am just not fun to be with.........
i am harmless and i'm eveready to shower all my care on you if you allow me to........really...... :(

To be totally selfless is quite impossible especially when it hurts one's ownself but of course, it is no good to be selfish esp. when it is wrong to be.... :(
but oftenly,the word "wrong" is just too subjective.. :(

Well in my context,i'll conclude it (for now) as:
"To not harm anyone and not harm myself and help whenever it is possible+it has to make me happy! ^^ no happy=defect present in help=don't help! " LOL.. =p <---selfish? *shrugs* :(

Never mind.. :) *long sigh*
i have confirmed that i have found one person who completely understands how i feel..

The person is my mother.. :-)
( and of course. also a few other people who mean so much to me..don't want to list them down :p :) time will prove everything.. :-) thanks to these people..and you should know who you are.. =))) and if you think that the person is you,then, BINGO! ^_^ because it means that you understand too..*smiles* :-) )

Mami,
i don't care how the world look at us..
but
all i know is that
I love you..
Yes, every single aspect of you........ *sobs* :'( :'( :'(

i miss you..
-------------------------------------------------------

On Christmas eve..

2009-12-24T16:29:00.006+05:30

The 1st Christmas present i have received (=gift from my beloved lecturers)--->
The end of block4
but wait....
this carries the meaning that examS ARE coming soon...
and yeah..block exam is just a day after my anticipated new year!.. =P
have not been studying hard for a long time,though..(considering the short duration of block4) :(
Time flies...
it is again, a year..... :)
and when i looked back into the previous years, tears sprang into my eyes..
i miss them.. :'( :'( :'( :'(
but
there's nothing i can do..
i'd have to let them go... =]
and i have learned not to try too hard,sometimes.. i'd just do my best till the extent that it won't make me feel sad and let God do the rest.. =]
and proceed to seek for more happiness ahead; they're awaiting for me perhaps..? =) >.<
BE STRONG.STRONG.STRONG!!!!... :-l

JIAYOU!!!!!!! ^^
my little Christmas wish: Dear God, i wish 19 of us ( Chinese gang ) + the girl who sits beside me in class ,at least (n of course,everyone in batch22,if possible) will pass Uni together... :((((( i don't want to miss anybody too much anymore... :(((((
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

10 New Year Resolutions for year 2010! ^^

2009-12-11T18:40:00.000+05:30

(1) Proudly announcing that the word 'hatred' is officially removed from my dictionary !.. ^^ =) yay!. (^_^)y
be loving! be loving! be loving! ^^ lalala~
Love, love and love~~Love is kind, love is patient.. =) Life's all about love! ^_^

(2) Make FIRM decisions.Keep PROMISES to myself and to others. If i ever catch myself being fickle minded again....... :-l ^^

So, SINSIUEW, please think PROPERLY before acting or uttering ANY word now on! ok!!? ^^

(3) Treat others as i'd like to be treated!.. =)

(4) Do not be selfish whenever i am not supposed to be esp when it is WRONG to be!... ^.^

(5) No reason for being lazy! ^_^ Be more responsible. Do not play a fool with people's life....please remember:-
医者父母心.. =)

(6) Take matters that cannot be changed lightly~~! (^_^)y

(7) Spend some time to remember the existence of GOD, at least once a day.. >.<

(8) Learn from other peoples' mistakes so that i don't have to make them all myself! ;)

(9) Be CALM, even at the most CRITICAL moment! :-l COMPLAIN LESS.nobody can help me except for myself. BE STRONG.....BE CONFIDENT..............i can do it. :-l

(10) Last but not least, BE POSITIVE ALWAYS!..24/7!!!!! =)))))
---------------------------------------------------------------

12:00AM..

2009-12-01T00:00:00.006+05:30

The clock struck twelve

It is again

a NEW day..

i am sleeping,hopefully.. =)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Oh dear clock,

i look into your face everyday..

Your expressionless face..

Cool or cold..?

i can't tell.. =(

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

i see the same numbers,

same hands

and

i hear the same ticking sounds,

every single moment..

n you never change..

Ah,

You are in fact the same,EVERY moment, physically..

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Time to time,

i've tried to turn your hands back..

i lied to myself,

by rewinding you back to the nostalgia,

wasting your effort

to show me that

Life,

is all about moving forward,not falling backwards..

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Perhaps i shall be more "clock-wise" to see the kind n optimistic message you are trying to convey.. =)

and

i understand that to counterclockwise,

harms no one but myself..

because reality will always remain as REALITY..

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Today is the end of Block3,

also the 1st day of the month and the last month of the year.. :)

i wish,i wish n i wish that everything will run like a clockwork today onwards,keeping up with the times,never to brood over the past but to cherish the present always..

i can never be perfect..but i will try to strive towards excellence.. :-)

Time's running out..

i can't close the door to keep it in..

but

i can run together with it, to chase my dreams..

so..

Time oh time..

Keep moving fast, at the pace you are running now..

i will chase after you,keep running forward,just like you..

even if it means that i'd have to go against the clock..

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

and Dear clock,

Thanks a lot..

Now,

when i look into your innocent face again,

i remember that there is still tomorrow...

it is not at all your fault..

You are not cold, you are indeed cool.. ;)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Tomorrow will be a better day;provided that i attempt to make it one.. :-)

Happy or sad,it all depends on how i look at things..

- - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Meanwhile,

i am sorry for taking you for granted always,

my dear precious time..

i promise,i promise and i promise

to try my BEST-est in every single thing you offer/permit me to do,

now on..

Thanks for giving me the present,a priceless gift.. =)))

i will fight for the future,with this gift..

i will keep fighting..Keep fighting and never let go of you....

--------------------------------------------------

Random.. ^^

2009-11-29T10:37:00.003+05:30

hehe..! ^_^ just realised that i can do this with my name.. =P ^^
----------------------------------------------------

Feeling empty.... >.<

i wanna study hard and go home to Malaysia to start my old life again..... =)))

----------------------------------------------------

Stay electronegative always! ^^ do not accept any electrons.. =D =p

2009-11-25T11:36:00.008+05:30

i miss staying alone in my room, happy..
i don't like to go out n wear a mask over my face..=(
is there a pacemaker like SA node to generate the impulse of happiness..? if yes,
Dear Santa,
i need it as my Christmas present pleeeeash...? =)

*sighhh...please pardon me for being so ungrateful for what i have suddenly* =(((

Perhaps life's ALWAYS a bed of roses..
Beautiful yet full of thorns hidden in between..
but
it requires the whole plant for the flower to blossom.. =)

The nucleus of an atom contains only protons, which are positively charged and neutrons, which have no charge..
and they are kept deep inside..
No one is going to see how is its condition with naked eyes.. >.<

Negative charges are just outside, not affecting the core;my heart..

Perhaps valence electrons are meant to be donated..
Let them be..
Who knows..? Maybe you'll combine to form a more stable compound..? =)

Anyway..Stay positive and neutral always! ^_^
~smile always ya,everyone~ ^_^
(if possible, LAUGH!! =D <--quoted from Betty..) :-)
---------------------------------------------------

Request: Ags, can you please clear off soon..? =(

2009-11-14T20:11:00.002+05:30

Oh MISTAKES..
You are like foreign antigens in me..
NO..
Never will you fade away with time..
but
you've made me develop protective Abs..

i am immunocompetemt..
i will never give up upon myself.. :-l

Dear Ag,
i thank God that you are not fatal..
May these provide life-long immunity..
Ag..
may you remain as a single serotype.. :-(
Even if you vary,
i will be strong enough to cope with you..

Everything will be fine..it's gonna be okay...it's gonna be okay.... =]

p/s: SS,please stop dreaming.....wake up and face the reality please...? :'(
This battle, i must win.
To: The devilish side of me---> i won't lose to you.

Do support me please..Although i am behaving weird.. :-((((((
------------------------------------------------

The members of herpesviridae-- creeping into me..killing me silently..

2009-11-06T18:24:00.007+05:30

By the way,in Greek, Herpein means 'to creep'.. >.< This reflects the creeping or spreading nature of the skin lesions caused by many herpes virus types..^^

As an immunocompetent person,
Who have been infected by some of the viruses belonging to this FAMILY..
Those feelings,
kept deep inside me..
are comparable to a latent infection..
Ahh yes..
i am appearing to be asymptomatic..
and those viruses came out of nowhere... :-(

Maybe i should blame myself for not taking the possible precautions to prevent these infections..
but
sometimes,
things do not always go the way you wished it would be..
No one would want to be virally infected..
and
worse still if it is of unknown even when infected..
i am not sure about what is the true definition of backstabbers..
but i hope what i feel and see,
are not reality at all..

and yes...i do admit that things you hear/see/etc even with your very own 5senses
may not ALWAYS be true..
Time and patience perhaps, will be my best evidences..

i don't know what is so bad about me... :-((((
am i that horrible...? :-((((
Can someone please answer me....?please..? :-(

i wish i will remain immunocompetent always..
i do not want any serious complications to erupt..
No..i am not sure whether i will be strong enough to curb those recurrence.. :-(
Worse still if there're no antivirals available..

----------------------------------------------
Honestly,
All my life..
i feel like an irritant..
unwanted, rejected, unaccepted; if not forcefully accepted..
if it's not because of my mum,
i might not be here in this world already..
perhaps it is true that i have to live for myself, not for others..
but for now, i have no other very good reasons to live other than for my mum..
my ambition..? ah..yes..luckily i remind myself..
but the priority is still for the person i will NEVER be able to repay no matter WHAT: my mum..
She's sacrisfied toooooo much for me.. :'(
i wish to sequester myself in my very own world..but at the same time, feel heavy-hearted to lose my way on my journey to seek for true friends..
You can think that i am mad, i am a fool..but it doesn't matter to me..
i will follow my heart..and i will not care how the world will look at me anymore..
i trust myself..

For now..
i am tired...
i am seriously very very tired... sobs..
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2009-10-31T17:09:00.001+05:30

Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is mystery and Today..is the present..which is also a present.. =)

The natural inhabitants of the human body..

2009-10-29T19:09:00.016+05:30

FRIENDS are like normal flora..

Some
harm you when you are immunocompromised..

Some
have no benificial or harmful effect on your life..
They are called the commensals..

Some
are transient in nature; just passing by..

Some
exhibits mutualism..
You need each other and..
They may even participate in maintaining your good health..
Perhaps forever.. =)

But some..
you will only realize how important they are..
After they are killed by the administration of antibiotics..

Some words are just like antibiotics..
All you wish was just to kill the pathogens that have made you feel not well..
and win back your good health..
but
things don't always appear like how you wished it would be..

So..
Please don't simply administer antibiotics..
Not only the pathogens develop resistance..
Even the good normal flora cannot be with you anymore, during those hard times..

Perhaps..
Silence is golden..

but if i've ever made you feel unhappy, please don't keep it to yourself..
Please do tell me..
i am not smart..i can't read people's mind.. =(((

p/s: Dear Normal flora, i didn't mean to kill you.....but you never seem to understand..

Anyway..
Sighhhh........
-----------------------------------------------------

Scared.. :(

2009-10-26T00:38:00.002+05:30

Seriously need to do well..
Must put my best foot forward..

LIM SIN SIUEW.
CALM DOWN AND YOU CAN DO IT! :-l

To all friends,
JIAYOU!
WE CAN DO IT! :-l (^_^)y

2009-10-24T00:15:00.003+05:30

"a removed L from Lover, n its all OVER.." (quoted from a friend's fb post) =)

it's true that,

if you remove L,it'll be Over..
But
true love will never be Over..When a lover is Over with you,
Remove O..
because..
FOR a true love, it will be FORever..

Don't be left as a LEFTover..
Stand up and be yourself RIGHTover again.. =)

p/s: haven't started anything on MSP.. :p

------------------------------------------------

Numb: emotionless+emotions= neutralisation

2009-10-21T01:19:00.011+05:30

Can't express
my frustration..
my exhaustion...

i am tired..extremely tired..

i need another weekend... :-(

Ahh.. i don't want to torture myself anymore..

Life is mine..
Life may not be long but at the same time,
may not be short..

2choices:-
to end my day happy/sad..

i'd rather be happy,of course..

May happiness come after i am done with MSP..
i really need to concentrate.. :-( sobs..

i am feeling so drained off...it's as if the person in me is not at all me...

i am tired..i am very very tired...and at the same time, very very very upset with myself.. =(

But for my loved ones, for my furture and for my country,
i will hang on..
ah yes..i will hang on..and try my best to climb UP instead of merely hanging on..
AND
that is definite.
-------------------------------------------------------

Love this song.. :)

2009-10-18T10:10:00.001+05:30

Not everyone's brainwave has the same wavelength..

2009-10-16T16:34:00.010+05:30

haha! ^^ i find this funny... =)))

The distance between two crests of the above graph is the wavelength of a particular wave..
The nearer the distance between the two crests,
The shorter is the wavelength..
and
The shorter the wavelength is,
the higher it's penetrative power will be and thus, the better two people can understand each other.. =p
Too bad that we do not have an adapter for people with different wavelengths.. =p

So..
i'll just do what i feel is harmless to myself and other people..
i don't care how people look at me anymore..
ahh..too tired to care about that too.. >.<
------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile..

According to Newton's first law of motion: ^^ A body in motion remains in motion and a body at rest remains at rest unless acted upon by an unbalanced force..
so.. LIM SIN SIUEW.Please wake up and get the message..! =p

(JIAYOU TO START WORKING HARD) ^_-

Procrastination has stolen all my time... =( sobs..

ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS. REMEMBER.
------------------------------------------------------------------

=) A song that keeps playing in my cerebral cortex..

2009-10-14T19:37:00.004+05:30

--------------------------------------------------------
退后 | Tui Hou | Retreat
Other Translations: Stepping Back
曲：周杰倫
Qu : Zhou Jie Lun
Music: Jay Chou

詞：宋健彰
Ci: Song Jian Jang
Lyrics: Devon Song

Translation: Ling - www.jay-chou.net

天空灰得像哭过
tian kong hui de xiang ku guo
The sky is so gray that it looks like it just cried

离开你以后
li kai ni yi hou
After leaving you

並沒有更自由
bing mei you geng zi you
I did not gain more freedom

酸酸的空氣
suan suan de kong qi
The sourness from the air

嗅出我们的距离
xiu chu wo men de ju li
Smelling out our distance

一幕锥心的结局
yi mu chui xin de jie ju
A scene of of heartbreaking ending

像呼吸般无法停息
xiang hu xi ban wu fa ting xi
Like breathing, unable to stop.

抽屉泛黄的日记
chou ti fan huang de ri ji
The yellowed diary in the drawer

榨乾了回憶
zha gan le hui yi
pressed dry our memories

那笑容是夏季
na xiao rong shi xia ji
That smile is summer

你我的过去
ni wo de guo qu
Our past

被順時針的忘记
bei shun shi zhen de wang ji
Has been forgotten as time goes by

缺氧过后的爱情
que yang guo hou de ai qing
A love that lacked oxygen.

粗心的眼泪是多余
cu xin de yan lei shi duo yu
Careless tears are unnecessary

我知道你我都没有错
wo zhi dao ni wo dou mei you cuo
I know that it is not your fault or mine.

只是忘了怎么退后
zhi shi wang le zen me tui hou
We just forgot how to step back

信誓旦旦给了承诺
xin shi dan dan gei le cheng nuo
We made promises to each other with confidence

却被时间扑了空
que bei shi jian pu le kong
Yet it has been emptied by time

我知道我们都没有错
wo zhi dao wo men dou mei you cuo
I know that it is not your fault or mine

只是放手会比较好过
zhi shi fang shou hui bi jiao hao guo
It's just that letting go would make things easier

最美的爱情回忆里待續
zui mei de ai qing hui yi li dai xu
The most beautiful love is to be continued in [my] memory

2009-09-23T09:34:00.003+05:30

梅花..
越冷她越开花.. =)
冰雪风雨她都不怕..

Hmm..
要像她一样坚强!! (^_^)y

Block3! HERE I COME!!!! :-l
lol..
i wish i will do better.. :-]

TURN OVER A NEW LEAF!!! YES! YES! YES! ^^ =D
-----------------------------------------------

2009-09-13T06:00:00.007+05:30

It is touching when you know that someone..
smiles when you are happy..
and cries together with you when you are sad..
But it hurts to see the person cry..

To a lady i've been in love for 21years,
thanks.. =)
i have found my true love..
as true love,will always leave one's heart in a piece.. :)

Don't have to ground your heart into powder for someone.. =D
He/She is not your true love..

but
if you keep on believing,
the dream that you wish will come true.. :-)
i still believe that love is not cruel..
whatever is cruel is not at all love.. =)
BE POSITIVE!! :-l

i have found one true love so far.. =)
worse come to worst,
the 2nd will be myself.. :)
i love my adorable family..i love myself..i love my future career..
i love God..
They will never betray me..Forever and ever.. =)
They belong to me: FOREVER.. ^_^

That's all i want.. =)

To everyone out there.. =D
<3 please don't tear it into pieces anymore.. :)
leave me alone if you intend to tear it into pieces/if you are not sure whether you will tear it into pieces..okay..? =)
Thanks..
-----------------------------------------
But yea..i am the main culprit..
To be loved,be loving..i always tell people..but..sigh..... =(

Thanks to my unloving attitude.. lol..
it is a costly lesson.. =]

i will pick up those broken pieces..
and stand upright as a stronger person..
:-l

Support me?? ;) ;) =D
---------------------------------------------

Reflection..

2009-07-22T17:06:00.003+05:30

May everything heal by 1st intention,
without leaving any scars..
i am not sure whether the weapon used was blunt or sharp..
but
all i know is that i am the weapon this week.. :-(
and
i wish to be given a chance to turn over a new leaf..
i really don't know what is wrong with me..
and i am not that kind of person..
please do not misunderstand me.. =(

i am not that serious..
and
i won't get angry with anyone at all too...
because i strongly believe that i am the root for whatever which is going to happen to me.. >.<

please oh please don't treat me as someone so fragile.. :-(
and
sorry if i look angry at times..(i am not..! ^^ really!...)

i just tend to think too much..and my mind always wander too far away.. =D
(well..sounds a bit unrealistic right..? >.<)
but sometimes,
i just feel that i have a different (or shall i say weird ways of thoughts..) =D

and worst of all,
i cannot normally portray how i actually feel most of the time.. :p
plus i do not have the habit to tell people about my problems too.. ^^
One reason is because most of the time,i feel more comfortable to keep it to myself...because i cant change another person..
but
i can change myself!.. ^^
n another reason is that i feel more secured to keep them to myself.. =)
n when i look emo,i am just in "deep" thoughts and not angry at all oh.. :-l hmm..

Owing to what my 'Monday Blues' syndrome the other day,
i promise to be more emotionally stable--> dedicated esp to my housemates.. =(
i am sorry if i really gave you all a great shock..

All i want to say is that i really need you all and i really appreciate our happy moments under one roof..

to housemates:

Kalau ada jarum yang patah,
Jangan disimpan di dalam peti;
Kalau ada silap dan salah,
Jangan disimpan di dalam hati..

:-)

and to anyone else whom i've hurt..
Please do forgive me..
and please help guide me to be a better person..
Please dun let me rot in my mistakes..
i will really appreciate if you are caring enough to point out my negatives
and
please...
i will never ever get angry okay..? =)
----------------------------------
Perhaps someone is right..
"Why can't you just laugh it off??"
i have taken life too seriously..
but now..
i hope life is not taking me too seriously.. >.<

The road not taken..
i wish i have chosen the right one.. =)
but
one thing is definite..
i will never ever regret for travelling the path i have chosen,
regardless beautiful or unsighty my destination will be..

i'll cherish every moment along the journey..
and i believe that my choice is right.. :)
and i pray that my instinct is right... ^_^

Beautiful or unsighty my destination will be,
Beauty will still lie in the eyes of the beholder--> me
---------------------------------
Exam's in less than 4weeks' time..
Yes.i am going to try my best. :-l
and please do pray for me.. >.<

Gotta go..
i've exceeded 1hour n gotta pay extra o.. =((( ^^ haha..
Till then,
take care,everyone.. :)

p/s:
Oh my!! i am going to the paediatric ward on Saturday!!! :-O i love children.. :)
but i just dunno how to entertain them.. :-( i feel very silly with them.. :p
sigh....how i wish i an come out from my "shell" n be not so paiseh.. =p
But honestly,
i am a little phobic to children.. :-s
they seem hard to handle..
i actually i dun feel very happy when ppl treat children like dolls n dun educate them well..
but at the same time,i dunno how to educate children wan wor.... :-(
THEY WILL NEVER LISTEN TO ME!.. :((( sighhh =D

Woops..what am i crapping so much here..
^^
Anyway,
i feel very relieved to let everything out now.. :)
every cloud has a silver lining.. =)
Be positive!! ^_-

Buh-bye! ;) *winks*

My very 1st surprises on the 21st year of my life.. :-)

2009-07-02T16:05:00.015+05:30

i saw these not long after i opened my eyes,while hearing my mum's voice,from my balcony.. :)))

i was sleeping and never expected all these to happen!.. ;)
Luckily it didn't rain despite the monsoon season.. :p
if not...
i wouldn't be able to see these..... :)))
Thanks,everyone.. =)))
and thanx, Douglas and HuiPheng, for the idea.. :)

Sweet,isn't it..? =))) >.<

so hard to blow the candles.. =))) =D

:-)

my birthday cake.. =) with 21 candles!!! ^.^ awww..

strawberry pudding!! ^^ (made with much love by my beloved housemate.. )

me,still in pajamas,with my birthday cake... =)))) ^^

my happy family in india.. :-) :p

:p (so happy)

my sweet birthday presents.. :-)

Special thanks to:-
-mum and dad..
-my dearest housemates.. =)
-huipheng and douglas for doing soooooo much for me.. :-)
-szewei,for the birthday messageS and card;that has yet to reach.. :p =)
-the rest of my sweet india family members..

for the surprises,gifts and thoughtfulness.. :-)
i am touched..
very very touched indeed... :-)

Thanks to everyone else for the birthday greetings too.. =)

and now...i proudly announce my 21year old achievements:- =D
-kek batik
-ABC soup
(which were once unfamiliar terms to me) :p
Mum will surely faint if she knows that i actually cooked!.. :p hahahaha..

next missions to be accomplished!!
......... hehehe..(that's secret!..) =)
because action always speaks louder than words o.. >.< :)

Anyway....yah......
i am 21years old!.. =D
i can't believe it.. =)
---------------------------------------------

Random.. :p

2009-06-27T09:19:00.005+05:30

Block 1 result is out.. =)
Although i wouldn't be happy if i were to see these results two years back,
i am really surprised,satisfied and amazed with my block 1 results..
and okay..
i believe it now,after looking at the same row with a ruler for several times..! =D
it is merely good luck,i must say,because
some facts were really "invented" by myself, for the sake of filling the test papers up.. :p hahahaha..
Hmm...i shall work harder this block.. :-)
i will do better this time.. ;) i will try my best,at least.. :-l
and please do pray for me + help me + work hard with me!.. =)
----------------------------------------------------
i am going to the orphanage at 1.45pm today TO TEACH ENGLISH..! ^^ (pity the children) hehehehe..
getting a bit nervous,though..
haven't been playing with children ever since my 'once-used to be-little' cousins became more matured than i am.. :p *blush*
miss those days when we played power rangers,talked nonsense n etc..
but..wait..
not fair!!! =D i am always the monster..... :'(
haha..
miss those childhood days.. >.<

oh no..i've gotta go... :-(
time's up!.. >.<

Take care,everyone..
and to my manipal friends: although it's fun,please dun go under the rain..... :-(
buh-bye.. =)
-------------------------------------------------

Sweet poison.

2009-06-16T15:09:00.004+05:30

Mechanical injury vs emotional injury..
i'd rather prefer the former..

Little rose,
Sweet and fragant,
Prideful you are with your beauty..
but the tiny thorns on your body..
is enough to make my whole day cloudy..

i didn't pay attention during pharmac class.. :p
because i couldn't control the trivial injury i've attained..

Perhaps it's me who's being too emo..
but i will still plant the rose in my heart and nurture it with care..
even if it hurts..
and petty me shan't remove it..

Even an artherosclerotic plaque calcifies..
and so follows my heart..?

Slowly,
i turn into a stone..

i cry silently..

*p/s: i came to the library just to update this..my computer is down..as down as i am..? :p lol..

STUDY HARD.and forget the rest... :-(

PBL time!!! ^_^
----------------------------------------------------------

Under one roof..

2009-06-14T09:21:00.004+05:30

A family of four..
Being far away from home yet close to home..
That is how i feel at home; my home in india.. :-)

Flourish or falling times,
never will i have to feel all alone.. =)

Sorry for this laconic note of appreciation..
but i just can't express how lucky i am to live with 3 of you..
May we live in comity till the end of ou stay in india.. =)
Housemate, i thank you very much.. :-)
but
i can't imagine the time when we have to sunder..
i am too blessed to have each and everyone of you..

i love my housemates.. >.<
-------------------------------------
Block1 is over.. and it cannot be denied that it was terrible horrible and vegetable.. :p

Now that i am no longer a habitue of facebook,
i wish i can pay 100% concentration to my studies..
for if i still don't,
i am going to be in hot water..sigh...

Block2,
may you be my rainbow that arises after a heavy rain in my heart..

i regret..
a lot indeed..
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

When time is incongrous to workload..

2009-05-31T21:19:00.012+05:30

What have i done for the past weekend..?
i have no idea.. :-(

5pages of Underwood..? 9pages of Tripathi..?
Wait..they are merely numbers..
duh..not at all,i could remember/fully understood a single fact..

Yes..
At this moribund state, i can still come online.... T_T
Why does the fear of failing exam fail to extirpate my laziness?.. =(
Even caffeine is no longer effective as a CNS stimulant to me....sobs..

Does these indicate tolerance to caffeine..? or to exam..? *shrugs*
i am too confused to say.. :-(
i am getting worried by this lackadaisical spirit..

i have been naughty instead of doughty when exam's so near... :-(((
and i wish that i could be less pesty.. :p

i don't know what is my mind up to..
i guess it's time for me to strictly stick to my priorities..
before it becomes too late..
but some things in life are just too recondite; full of dubiety..
and i shall clear my mind off from those undulant little thoughts which only drowned myself in unecessary acrimony.. :p
i shall wake up and "ukur baju di badan sendiri".. =p =D
i will learn to quit slowly.. :-)

A sense of trepidation is creeping all over me..
duh..
and here i am,sitting with folded arms,being indifferent..
here's a sentence i've quoted frm somewhere in fb:
"Try..you'd never know how amazing the result will be..
but
if you don't try,the worst result has already been obtained before it all begins.."

how true.. :-)
but it does not apply to all aspects of life,to me..
:-( or :-)?
oh..i can't be bothered anymore.. >.<

Anyway,

JIAYOU,EVERYONE.. :-)

--------------------------------------------------------------

2009-05-24T14:36:00.002+05:30

Stressed... T_T

why stressed..?

haih...

no study lo....... :-(

and without realising, exam is just a blink away......sobs...

haih..... T_T

---------------------------------------------------------

2009-05-23T22:07:00.002+05:30

<---camwhore!MUAHAHA :p (when i'm supposed to study) :-(
i miss mama... =( *hugs*

- bogged down by tonnes of work pending... =S =((( ^^ -

--------------------------------------------------------------

just for the sake of updating.. =D =p

please don't mind me.. >.<
jiayou,everyone!! :-) ;)

13more days to block exam..

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!! ^_^ :-l

i am going home...

2009-05-16T19:47:00.010+05:30

Come on...i am supposed to feel on top of the world...!! :-) :-) :-)

but
my happiness is being buried under the tonnes of workload to be done..
i am supposed to feel happy to be buried under those piles of work; as this has always been my dream..
therefore i shouldn't complain.. =D
but
ungrateful me have forgotten for a moment about that.. :p

i don't know how to start though it seems that i can't stop; especially at this moment..

This serves as a reminder to myself: :-p
"Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.."
-Confucius-

This is supposed to be what i love..
and it has been my one and only choice despite all those challenges..
SS!
remember those days!!! :-(
ahemm..! ^^ *it'll will be a long story if i write it here*
lol..i wrote an emo essay(with bad vocab) :p of 1000+ words to be passed up about that in form5!.. =D *laughs* (i am so "cheong hei") =D
and i still remember how i cried while writing that essay..
Well..
those were the days.. :-)))
days when i was younger... :p =D

Now that i've got what i've always wanted,
i must study happily!.. ^_^ hehehe..

*smiles* =))))

Feel much better.. :p
pardon me. =D
-------------------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile..
Thanks, Cathy.. :-) *hugs*

Pretender..?

2009-05-14T19:27:00.009+05:30

Honestly, i don't feel happy whenever a person says that another person is a pretender or etc..
i wish to voice out how i feel but often restrain myself from doing so,
to avoid any over-impulsive act by emo me; since i am never good at words.... :-(

i am not good at voicing my opinions orally.. *blush*
please do not misunderstand me..
so normally, i write to express how i feel because i am really scared to say something which perhaps,
is just a slip of my tongue and i will feel worse, if it brings no benefit at all to the opposite party
and even worse still, if it causes unnecessary heartbreaks; since i myself is a person with a glassy heart,ever fragile- but at the same time has a high boiling point
and
a low melting point,therefore can be easily melted n mended into a piece again.. ^^
:-p haha..

so please don't worry to use harsh words on me (preferably sincere) ^.^
i'd really appreciate them..
and
i'd be most happy to try to change if i am really wrong.. ;-) really... :-)

To me, NO ONE is a pretender..
Even if everyone else thinks that he/she is a pretender,
that's the way he/she is
and the person is not at all pretending, i believe... :-(
Saying that someone is a "pretender" is just the same like hoping for the person to pretend..

Poor "pretender"..
is it wrong for him/her to just be him/herselves...? :-(

i would prefer to accept a person for the way he/she is.. :-)
yea..i know that i might be a bit ego to have this kind of weird thinking... :-((((
but..
i just feel that no matter what, it is never wrong to just be who you really are..
and please do not feel upset by mean comments from anyone,
when
you know that you are not that kind of person..

As long as you do not commit anything against the law/religion..,
Stand up straight, be confident and continue to be your sweet self.. :-)
The truth will be unveiled one day; if not by true friends,
(by friends who like you for who you are..) at least..

hehe..meanwhile, if anyone thinks that i am a pretender.......... ^^
i must say that:
i am who i am.. :-)
i love myself for who i am..
and
i love all my friends for who they are too.. =)
<3 <3 <3

Last but not least,
Please treat others as you would love to be treated~~ *winks* ^_^

To: my first love.. =)

2009-05-10T01:01:00.003+05:30

My love for you is eternal..just like this ring,which is round..

and has no end.. :-)

i love you,mum..

and how i wish i can find a good way to show you how much i love you..

Happy Mothers' Day..

------------------------------------------------------

practicing.. :p

2009-05-10T00:15:00.007+05:30

i am going to sing this to mum tomorrow.. =D
even though my voice is no better than the voice of a crow,
i thought of surprising mum..*scratch head* =S
but i am scared that i will be too shy to do so... :-(

here is the rehersal of tml's plan (but it'll be on the phone) :

what do you think..?
shall i..? or shall i not...? =D lol....

*rain*.... =p

2009-05-09T23:29:00.000+05:30

i miss these moments.. :-)

Happy birthday, Buddha.. ^.^

2009-05-08T21:04:00.002+05:30

Happy Wesak Day.. =)

It is just the beginning..?

2009-05-07T16:40:00.003+05:30

Microb class test was a disaster,as expected..
and
on the other hand,
Pharmac SDL test was a miracle;which is too unexpected.. =p

Overall,
i would consider my beginning of year 2 to be a very very very disorganized one.. :-(

Frankly,
i am really filled with regretfulness this time..
stubborn me used to think that i will not regret for anything which i have done..
sigh..
i realise that what i can do now is to stand up and start fighting..
because it is NEVER benificial to regret and sit down with folded arms,being indifferent..
but
i just wish that time will not constrain my desire to improve on my self-discipline
so that i can fulfill my satisfaction or at least,my responsibility as a student and as a scholar,
to do well in my upcoming sessional exam..

it's just an SDL test and i took the whole day just to memorise that few pages..
Owing to that,
till now,
i still don't think that i am able to answer essay questions of those SDL topics being examined just now.. :-(
disappointed with myself..
but at least,i've tried my best this time..unlike microb.. =(
However,
it's not enough just to try my best..
it matters to produce the best too..
as in..
it's more meaningful if i try my best to produce the best and not just work blindly..
but how...?
(i am not hoping to be a topper or etc.. =) just for the sake of being a more responsible, harmless and confident doctor in future..)

sigh...that's all i wish i can do.. :-(
and i really wish that i am able to do it.. :-(

Anyway,
my most anticipated time has come: DINNER TIME!!... ^^

Till then..
please pray for me.. =)

it's just the beginning..and i will not let it end just because of one failure.. :-l
BE STRONG. :-l

Mr.Ravi is right... =(

2009-05-02T10:18:00.006+05:30

Mr.Ravi
"Do not study last minute..you will get palpitations on the day before"..

S-S
Reaction at that moment:
ahhh...it's still a long way to go *procrastinate* TOMORROW lah...

Now:
Tomorrow n tomorrow n tomorrow...
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day..
To the last syllabus of recorded time..
and all *my yesterdays have lighted fools..
the way to dusty death,
out,out brief candle..
*sinsiuew's but a walking shadow..
a poor player..
that struts n frets *her hour upon *facebook;
and is then heard no more..
it's a tale,
told by an idiot..
full of sound n fury..
signifying nothing..

*=modified :p

hey....not bad...i still remember what i've learned in form1..!! ^^ =D

wait a minute..
WHY AM I STILL SO HAPPY WHEN I AM GOING TO DIE ON MONDAY?? (*_*) :p

Mr.Anand...
no essay questions please...... :-(
i'll score zero right away...... :-( sobs..
-----------------------------------------------------
my very 1st microbiology test..
NO. I CAN'T SCREW IT UP. :-l

it's no use to regret,i know.... :-(

2009-05-02T00:04:00.001+05:30

Sad-a-day..

2009-04-25T22:25:00.008+05:30

Well..nothing can describe my feelings now..
but
this song made me feel better..
don't know why.. =)

---------------------------------------------------------------

"Better by far you should forget and smile than that you should remember and be sad" (Christina Rossetti)

smile.. :-)

that's right..! ^^ :p

Anyway,i can't blame anyone..
it's all my own fault la.. >.< =)
serve me right.. :'(
---------------------------------------------------------------

May Sunday be a more sunny day~ :-)

My heart sank at the bank... T.T

2009-04-21T00:00:00.006+05:30

This week's blues:
:-(
1) no air ticket till 10days later. wasted nearly 4hours online just for that.. =( lotsa obstacles just to book a flight ticket.. :-( I REALLY WANNA GO HOME...PLEASE LET ME GO HOOOOME.... :-( sobs...

2) no Tripathi till tomorrow..(hopefully till tomorrow only) i am missing it like crazy and i can't do anything else..... :-(

3) write a new autopsy report..(hopefully not)

4) PBL not touched.

5) SDL--definitely to be called out this time..! thanks to my exaggerated response last week.
:-( :'(

Thanks to my blurness and carelessness for the above mentioned consequences.. :-( sobs sobs sobs..
Feeling very very very disappointed with myself..... T.T
The cute-cute girl of my home is right..
Why am i always like that....?? :-(
*hit hit hit hit hit myself* :-(

Nevertheless,i do admit that there's a bright spot despite all these disasters too.. :-)

---------------------------------------------------------------
i was supposed to start my "new hour resolution" at 10pm, thinking that i would settle down and concentrate on my studies just now..
but..
looks like, the force of 'attraction' of the korean drama,
which my dear housemate was watching,
is stronger than my lousy,brittle "resolution".. :-( sobs..
*useless me* =(
i am addicted to the drama when i have so much more to do.... T.T
--------------------------------------------------------
Perhaps i should see these in a new light.. =)
Tomorrow will be a better day..! ^^
it will definitely be...cheer up! ;) *consoling myself* LOL.. ^.^

i realise that i sound pathetic.. =p
but that's what i've been doing since i was young,
besides having my mother to be there for me whenever i have something to brood about.. =)
but mum's patience has it's limit too.... :-(
(maybe because i m too "cheong hei") ^^ :p
------------------------------------------------------------------
NEW DAY RESOLUTION; a must to be acomplished. :-l
i will try my very very very best or i'll never forgive myself. :-l

BE LESS CLUMSY,MORE HARDWORKING.
DON'T TAKE ANYTHING FOR GRANTED!..

JIAYOU! JIAYOU!
I CAN DO IT!! =) *smiles*
-----------------------------------------------------------
Good night,everyone.. =)

i really wish that the above mentioned (5) blues (which often happens to me) will come only once in a blue moon in future..

SS.... =( be less blur,be less blur pleaseeeee....? *getting worried with myself* :-(
-----------------------------------------------------------
actually i just want to be a harmless and not useless person.. ^^
that is enough for me.. >.<
i just don't want to be a blur doctor in future.. =(
*emo... :-( feel like crying my lungs out.....* :'(
i am so big-sized, yet so fragile..*shame on me* =(

i am scared...

2009-04-18T22:44:00.001+05:30

Result of 'kepoh'ing at Nat's blog.. ^^ =p

2009-04-13T18:38:00.002+05:30

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
-----------------------------------------------------

Panic-striken

2009-04-12T10:34:00.002+05:30

Coming up next:
tests---PBLs----tests---SDLs---ILs---tests---tests---tests---infinity... :-p

Status:
lazy--lazier---lazier---and lazier...

:-(

As expected,
3days of holidays passed just like 3minutes..! :-O

Oh my...how...? :-( :-( :-(

A nostalgia for the olden days.... :-(

2009-04-08T20:12:00.002+05:30

Time's swift..
Why must all yesterdays remain as yesterdays..? =(

A race over time..
Why am i always the loser..? :-(

A stitch in time saves nine..?
i don't know.. :-(

Perhaps the time is ripe for me to free my state of mind off the retros..
Look forward as those who look only at the pasts will miss the future..? :-(
but
i still miss the past.. :-)

Maybe it's absence that makes the heart grow fonder..
but
it seems like my heart goes wander instead..
Wander over the beauty of the past,
that has lost its eternity..?
or it has not...?

Bygones are bygones..
Well,
after crapping so much here....
*ta da* ^^
(retrograde amnesia) :-p

feeling much better.. =)

how i wish i am as hardworking as when i was in secondary school now.. :-) =p

jiayou!!!!!!! ^^ lalala.. *smiles* :-)

Sunday afternoon..

2009-04-07T16:13:00.004+05:30

i headed towards the door after having a dream that someone's playing with the drum,when it was actually my cute housemate,who was kind enough to knock on my door on that beautiful Sunday morning (nearly afternoon..) *blush*

As if i was suffering from somnambulism,i opened my door partially and...the story begins: :-)

Sian Lin: An autopsy will start in 30minutes
Me: *stared at the birthday girl* and asked.."april fool...?" (in my heart: woops...cannot be......) :-O eeiiksss...OMG..

Quickly,i rushed to the toilet to brush my teeth and wash my face..
Being over-excited,i wore my pajamas pants with my lab-coat on,rushed out of my room and looked for something to be stuffed into my mouth to fill my stomach so that i won't faint of hypoglycemia during the autopsy.. :-S
Thank God that our birthday girl offered me some delicious chocolate cakes..*muaks* ^^

She is my saviour of the day!.. =D because i have no more biscuits left on that day,unfortunately.. =(

it was my very first experience to be woken up from sleep to attend an operation.. ;)
i still feel that it sounds so PRO.. =)
i think this will happen to me very frequently next time,after i graduate as a doctor.. :-)
but i guess,
i will have to be even faster because it will involve lives by then..
No longer just an autopsy.. ;)

i am so proud of it; my future profession.. :)

The autopsy took slightly more than one and a half hours..
i didnt really look at the time..
regretted for being so inalert.. >.<
Well.. at least,it taught me a lesson!.. ^^ (be more alert and to be more observant..!)

My first autopsy witnessed in india..
(my 3rd autopsy witnessed in my lifetime so far)

The lady was so young.. :-(
She met with an automobile accident and died of cardiorespiratory arrest,after being hospitalised since 29March..
i just can't imagine how her family members felt..
death in road accidents are just too hard to be accepted..! :-(
They just occur all of the sudden......

i cant imagine if i were to be the doctor,who've performed the post-mortem..
i cant imagine if i were to be the victim,lying on the metal table..
Oh God..
please don't let that happen to me.. =(
if it really happens to me,
please just let me donate all my organs away.. =)

but
choi choi choi..... :-( :-(
i still have my mama,the queen of my heart and papa,who gave me life,to repay....
i cant leave so irresponsibly before repaying their kindness although i will never be able to repay them even if i am given a century to do so..
and i wish that they'll live long.. =) i cant afford to lose them..

Actually,
i once wanted to be a forensic surgeon (influenced by Hong Kong movies) :p
i wanted to help the dead people and their families,esp the ones who've died with unknown reasons to fight back their rights. :-l
but now..

i think i am okay with the situation in the mortuary.....(although i have yet to witness decomposed body)
but..
after thinking twice......
i just don't wish to deal with dead people everyday.... :-(
i will suffer from depression...... :-(

Woops..
i am so carried away.. :p
Microb SDL tomorrow..
WHAT AM I DOING NOW??! :-/ =p

cao.. ^^
going to take a nap and...
BACK TO WORK... :-)

take care,everyone..
try to take good care of yourselves and let God do the rest..

Think of your love ones.. :-)

bye for now.. ^_-

Time flies..

2009-03-28T17:00:00.004+05:30

Medical School Year 2..
it is as if i am in a dream.. :)
and yes,it's dream come true.. =)
i am grateful and glad.. :-)

but..
A week has gone..
and i haven't start studying..
The fear that history repeats (last minute work) have failed to overcome my laziness.. :-(
May my new year resolutions be much more than a velleity.. =(

When i flipped through the pages of my brand-new books,
pharmacology,microbiology and pathology looked really,really tough.. =(
they are like so beyond my standard la.... =(
i find forensic interesting..but i wouldn't wanna comment anything bout the subject coz i have yet to buy Pillay's..! ^_-
will get it immediately after i have enough money! ^^ =)

Basically,
that's all i'd like to say bout studies.. =)
it's gonna be challenging..
Unless i wake up and get started now,
i'll never be able to make it again..
coz in comparative to year 1 subjects,
i feel that year 2 subjects are much tougher..
much more to memorise,understand and much,much more of self-directed learning..

i am quite lost,actually.. =S
but
I WILL PUT MY BEST FOOT FORWARD. :-l
-----------------------------------------------------------
Now..
time to talk bout my new housemates.. ^_-
i am now living with 3"charlie angels".. =)
since i wasn't with the "charlie angels" during the 1month vacation,
there's no more place for me to be charlie angels ady.. :( =p
so i think, i'll be charlie devil,then!!.. *winks* muahaahaa.. ^^ :p

i love my new home very much.. =)
especially my warm housemates :) and my sweeeeeet room... :p
although deep inside my heart,
i dislike its distance from the Interact Hall.. :-(
Well, i shall get used to it soon.. =)
and learn to manage time properly,today onwards..

(to be continued...)

really hope that the ending will be: we lived happily ever after,at swarnagiri.. ^^ =)
--------------------------------------------------------
Trip back to manipal
overall,it was a wonderful journey,minus my motion sickness.. =S
i never knew that i'd suffer from motion sickness..
couldn't sleep along the journey because of that.. =(
but perhaps it's a blessing in disgust too..! ^^
why...? =)
our bus passed THROUGH many jungles (one of them at highlands with super windy and narrow 2-way road..)
and guess what?!
i saw an elephant!! =D OMG..
saw etc etc..which i couldn't recall now but which i know,are really interesting.. =) :)

Back in Manipal..
i miss home again... :-(
---------------------------------------------------
Last week was a marvel.. :-)
Things which i've never thought will happen,actually,happened..
and
i still cannot believe that it wasn't a dream.. =)

no.
it's illusion..
i shall face the reality..

No one is perfect,
but uneasy,i feel,with my flaw.. =(
it makes people misunderstand me,sometimes...
sigh... =(
maybe it's just what i feel...i tend to think too much..
i still think that....
ok ok,no one will understand..... =( :p ^^
but
never mind. =) >.<

One week out of 12weeks have gone..
11weeks to go..
and i shall aim for *_______* (secret) this time.. :p
or i'd have to treat someone meals!!.. :-S eeiks.. :-O
---------------------------------------------------------
Back to a bit of studies.. :-)
gonna practice cycling later.. =) at 6pm..
Till then..
bye! ^^

Randomly from siuew-siuew!

2009-03-04T13:39:00.003+05:30

Time is never not enough for what you give importance to.. :-)

and

it's never enough for what you don't care at all.. =p

What I have done.. =)

2009-02-26T10:09:00.011+05:30

Have been in Singapore for 5days..

That was the first time i went to so many places in Singapore.. =)

However,

this time,

it's exceptional..

I went everywhere except for my grandma's place.. =p

Grandma was so sweet to come over despite having my 2 cousins who are still schooling to be taken care of.. =)

(at the same time,i am quite cruel.. :p)

My family members love me a lot..

and i really don't know how to repay EACH and EVERYONE of them.. =(

For the past few days,

i have been reading a book..

and i haven't finish reading it.. ;)

Would like to share a few sentences which i find inspiring: ^^ (these are put in my own words; sorry..) :p

1) Think about your emotions, don't think with your emotions

2) Don't blame others for anything. Blame yourself for it and THINK of solutions to it.

3) Don't say to yourself,"i'll never be able to do it". Say,"i am not doing it.How can i do it?"

The sentence,"i can't afford it" is a sign of MENTAL LAZINESS! :-/

4) Don't memorise the dates and years of history. Comprehend the message in which the event that happened conveys..

5) Take risks. Learn to manage risks. ;) ahah..! ^^

errr....that's all i can remember..geee.. :p

i am going to re-read the book after i complete reading it! ^^ ;)

i've just reached home yesterday..

Now trying to build white castle in the air..

wanna build a very very huge castle

but

currently lack of material and lack of foundation to build it up! =(

Re-strategising.......

hrmmm... =(

in deep thoughts now.. :-S

"Why can't i be as smart as Einstein??" <---TRASH :p

correction:

Don't have to be as smart as Einstein..but i am thinking hard how to be a smarter person.. :-/

i mean not smart in studies but smart in applying whatever i have learned in life and learning whatever i have not learned.. =(

i want to be intelligent in academics.. :)

but i guess,

being intelligent in academics can merely be achieved by putting in more hard-work... =)

ahah.......

Hard-work...

does it apply on what i have to do to learn more about life as well..?

Well...

but how?? =(

we don't have books that teach us about life......

even if there is,

i guess it's of no use. :-/

all i need is experience...... =(

but

with my status now,

i am just like a little froggie, closed up under a coconut shell,

given food and shelter,

showered with much love.....

unable to make my own decisions..... =(

Yes,

i know that i will find a solution if i want to..

but

i have to think hard.....

i am over-pampered and i don't want to be.... =(
(as in; of course i love to be pampered like a baby (A MAGNIFICENT ONE :p)but...
i don't want to lose too much if one day,
i were to lose those love..
i will never be able to accept it.. :'( sobs..
as in: N-E-V-E-R (with my condition now..)

i want to pamper those who've pampered me so much instead!!! ^^ hehe!

but again.....

how.....??? :-(

wait for me to graduate...??

i am afraid that it'll be a bit too late..

it'll take me 4more years!.. :-(

Gosh......

i am certainly not brooding over the duration of my course.....

it has always been my dream to be a doctor..

i am confident that i will garduate as a doctor ,provided that i study; and i wish to study 1000x harder after this semester break!.. :-l

but...

my problem is....

how to be a successful doctor...?? :-/

In fact,

being a GOOD doctor is one of the biggest dream in my life.. =)

but
at the same time,

i want to own a shop where i don't have to be physically there very often..! =) heehee...
but i can't think of what kind of shop will it be....
something to do with healthcare....?? :-S

i want my parents to stay at home,shake-legs and go on vacation whenever they want to.. =p
i don't care.. :p
but again...

how...?? :-S

puzzled..puzzled...

i have a few more dreams to be kept secret..

i don't want to boast around further and end up being indifferent. =(

Well....

Action always speak louder than words.. =)

thinking hard...thinking hard.....

i want to be a more useful child..

make my mum and now,my dad,proud of me...

Actually, i feel unhappy because i can't talk much to dad and feels awkward when talking to him especially when he suddenly treasures me so much after all these while,when i am so used to receiving my sole downpour of love from my mother and all my maternal family members.. =(

Can someone please teach me or share some opinions with me..? =) ^_^

Please help me... =(

Time to turn over a new leaf.. =)

2009-02-23T19:40:00.002+05:30

Currently in Singapore.. =)

Proudly declare that i've passed 1st year..
gonna proceed to 2nd year soon..

2nd year..
My new hope.. =)

i am now a new person.. ;)
Thank God for granting me a happy ending for 1st year..

gotta go..! ^_^

going tp eat again!.. ;) lol..

gained much weight. :p
dun be surprised the next time you see me.. ^_-

Sigh.... =(

A Shunt Back To The Path Not Taken..?

2009-02-13T11:34:00.003+05:30

Follow my heart..?
or
Follow my mind..?

i guess i'd trust my mind more.. :-(

i am contented enough with the route i have chosen,
the route i am travelling now..

Keep moving forward,SS..

study study study study!!! ^^ yay!!!! =) >.<

Good day,everyone.. =)

Transition of Post-Pre Exam Syndrome the worst syndrome ever :-p

2009-02-12T18:20:00.018+05:30

3more practical papers to go...
but
this was what i have done yesterday+today.......*ta-da* ^_^
-----------------------------------------------------------

3.30pm-9pm: sleep

9pm-11pm: online

11pm-8am : sleep

8am-11am : sleep

after 11am: woke up n looked at mr.sateesh's slides (look only) looked and smiled despite not knowing how to do.. :p

after lunch: sleep

5pm: woke up (alas....! :p)

after 5pm: online+went to buy all kinds of "weird" things e.g. raw tomatoes,raw vege,raw cucumber,raw carrots,raw oranges :p and eat them ALL R-A-W ;-) (not weird to me but weird to my dear, sok bee :p)

now....still online loh... (*_*)

but the amazing thing is..

Sian Lin (when i went to knock on her door after i went to buy all my "weird" stuffs: Wah,sinsiuew,the more you sleep,the blacker yr eyes become leh....

haha.. ^^ (-_-") *laughs* =D

and 1more thing...

can anyone tell me that my "weird" stuffs are not weird at all...... =) come on...please please please?? ^.^ eeyer...gimme some -f-a-c-e- mah...... >.< :p haha! =)

---------------------------------------------------------------

sigh..
should be like this :-( instead of like this ^_^ (i know....)
:-(
---------------------------------------------------------------
sinsiuew: SS,are you regretting??
SS: no,not at all.. :p

After all...what has gone,has gone...
i have to look forward!! ^^
and go back to my beloved books N-O-W...! =)
yay!!! ^_-

buh-bye.. :-p

Yours lovingly.
lazy pig

Relieved???... =)

2009-02-11T15:17:00.000+05:30

Wait..it is not over yet... :-p

Biochemistry

2009-02-09T21:47:00.005+05:30

no.1 killer of mine...
the subject that will usually drain away all my ATPs if i want to do well.. :-(
i really don't know how to start..but i am in an emergency state now.. =p
i have to start as soon as possible ;as in RIGHT NOW.
but i am so sleeeepy.... :-( sigh

biochem..
i love you but at the same time,
phobic to you..

CRITICAL
Fight for another 2days..
it will make a difference in my life.

KEEP FIGHTING. KEEP FIGHTING.

Biochem...my last battle before i can joyfuly declare that i am confident that i will pass uni...
(with God's will..) =)

God..please be by my side again...
i need to be more hardworking..... :-(

To run a race against TIME.

2009-02-08T09:44:00.007+05:30

12hours: 3blocks
1block: 4hours
marks needed to pass: 37/100 for physio and of course,higher for biochem.
37/100.

although i've never got this mark for any exam in my life,
but
if i keep on taking this for granted,
ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN.

distinction,i bid you farawell... :-(

even if i get above 75% for any subject,
if they allow me to donate 20marks away for anyone who needs it..
i will be so willing to do so.. :'(

it's not that i don't wanna study..
nothing can enter my mind..
tarchy cardia..

right now.
forget anxiety.
cool down.
FIGHT TILL THE END.

NEVER EVER GIVE UP. :-l

God..please be by my side..

LAST BUT NOT LEAST.
BE POSITIVE. BE POSITIVE.

Gosh...i've never felt so nervous in my life before.... :'(

BE STRONG.BE STRONG.I CAN DO IT. :-l

2009-02-05T21:03:00.000+05:30

[Medical School WAR (I)] lol.. :-p

2009-02-04T09:12:00.004+05:30

I have to win this battle even if it costs my life; because it won't. :p

All I have to do is to put in more effort..

A turnover of life,this battle might cause.

No. I've got to win this. :-I

less than 3 days to go..

FIGHT IT OUT TO THE END.

get set....GO!!!!! ^^

On the verge of breaking down..

2009-01-30T22:00:00.000+05:30

i am stressed up..... :-(

yes,i have to admit it... :-( sobs,sobs...

i know that there's nothing i can do except to continue to strive till the end...
but
i am just -stressed up-..... :'(

Nothing can enter my mind when i study...... T_T
inhibitors to the release of neurotransmitters from my neurons? neurotransmitter exhaustion from my presynaptic neuron??? blockage of Calcium channels in my nerve endings..?? or what.....
I DON'T KNOW... :-( :'(
i thought sleep would help.....
but it definitely didn't.....

i wanna pass......
i can't accept failure at this critical stage.... T_T
then all that i have been through will vanish just like that.....sobs... :'( :'( :'(

i really need to bemoan my mistake for wasting time all these while; throughout the year..

i thought i am a strong girl..i thought i could handle this with much courage+optimism,all by myself but....
no.. :-(

i need love,care,support and encouragement now.....lots and lots of ‘em indeed… :-(:-(
let me be very very greedy,for once please... =(

Of course,i can't pester my batchmates about this as they are all busy preparing for their upcoming final exam too..
but
others...,
Please do care for me..... :-( :-(
Annoying,i might seem to be....
but please don't ignore me...at least for these few days.....okay...?? ^.^ :-(

i am scared...i am worried..

no.....i can't think of going home... :'(
no.........i don't want history to repeat; like what has happened in block2 when i think of home too much:
i gave up on my last paper and [GO HOME] ::end of story:: :p
no.............. :-(

this time,it's NO LONGER merely a sessional exam but this is my last exam after all that i have been through in 1st year... T_T

Lost..

Clueless..

Hopeless..

Helpless.....

No one can help me 100% except for myself....
but...
what if i can't help myself this time....? :-(

Negative thoughts.....nightmares.....
If i beg you to stop haunting me,will you.....?? :'(
but
You can haunt me,nightmares,provided that you are opposite to your contents.. :p lol..
i won't mind dreaming that i fail again and again provided that the opposite thing happens in reality.. :p haha.. ^^

Hey..! i feel much better! =D ^^

Stop day-dreaming.... =D

p/s: by the way,it's night here.. :p

Another day has ended..
7days to uni exam...
i'll call it a day..
and pray that tomorrow will be a better day.. =)

it will definitely be,sinsiuew...~ *smiles* =) ;)

i had a bad day~~ ^_^ lol
___________________________________

Impetus!

2009-01-30T11:08:00.013+05:30

Mission: TO TRANSFORM AIR CASTLE INTO A REAL ONE. :-P

I DON'T WANNA GO HOME TILL I SCORE ABOVE 75% FOR ALL SUBJECTS IN UNIVERSITY EXAM!! :-l

study plans are nicely written down.
WHAT IS IT FOR?
to FOLLOW!! and i am sure that i can do it. :-l
at least,i'll try my best since with the pace i am going now,it'll take me forever to complete the syllabus+remember what i've read..

ACCELERATE,SS! COME ON! KEEP ACCELERATING!!
GAMBATEH!!!! ^_-

GETTING ABOVE 20 FOR INTERNAL EXAM DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU ARE SURE TO PASS IF YOU KEEP ON SLEEPING LIKE THIS..! T_T
(and at the same time,scoring below that does not mean that one doesn't have hope anymore..remember the story of the rabbit and tortoise..? >.<)

Confidence,was what i lacked of but NO.i have regained it.

I CAN DO IT. ;-)

DON'T TALK TO ME AND DON'T CARE ABOUT ME IF I DON'T PASS UNI (at least).. :-l
yes,for me,please do the favour.

DON'T LET AIR CASTLE REMAIN AS AIR CASTLE.....

Escaped : with glory.. :)

2009-01-27T13:25:00.009+05:30

Thanks,heaven,for my block4 result.. =)
It will be my "angpow" for this year.. ^_^ :p

I am very very happy with it
because
it is totally far beyond my expectations; especially for biochem
(the subject which i fear most out of all)

Thank God for everything..
Ahhh,yes... ;)
not only thanks to God but i would also like to express my heartfelt gratitude to:

alllllll my teachers and friends.. =)

without their constant support and help,
and with the degree of laziness i used to have,
(and am still having;that's why i am super-worried for my uni exam.. T.T)
i'd never be able to achieve those results
(which i am very very very very happy and contented with) =)

Now..
after getting my result,
my dream of scoring distinction for physiology is finally revived..
i am sorry,physio,
i won't give up on you anymore..
i will do whatever i can do to realise my "mission-not-very-possible".. :p

Wait..
before that..
why not i realise my "mission-possible-provided-that-i-stop-wasting-time" first..?
:p

Actually,
i am just hoping to pass all the subjects la..
To get a distinction in 1st year is my dream..
but
For me and ALL my friends to pass university exam and get into 2nd year TOGETHER,

is my biggest dream...
Come rain or shine..
We have to do it together,okay..?? =)

To anyone outside manipal who reads this..Please pray for us..

Plan for today:
After taking 1hour of nREM sleep+a bit of REM sleep,
i'll start studying very hard.. *winks* =)

God has shone a little path of success for me by letting me do well in my internal exams; overall..
i mustn't take it for granted.. :-(
i will try my best in these few days.. T.T
God,please do the rest.. :-(

Have a nice day,everyone.. ^^

This serves as a reminder to myself,since tomorrow is a new year of lunar calendar.. ;)

2009-01-25T15:16:00.006+05:30

*whisper* sinsiuew,don't forget your new year resolutions yah?? ;) ;)
LOL ^_^

i wanted to post something more meaningful but too bad,
there's error on this page since yesterday night..
so..
i couldn't upload pics and without pics,
the post won't be meaningful lo.. :-(

p/s:
actually,superstitious me is just posting this for fun to make my total posts
28
in number
on this auspicious day,年除夕,
since "yee fatt" means "easy to rise (发) " in cantonese
and i want my study performance to rise high tomorrow onwards.
(today,i am going to attend reunion dinner with my chinese family members in india) :p

LOL..have a nice day,everyone.. =)
I am deeply missing my biological family members..=(

neway: Muax! (^X^) to them! ^^
i will come home with success to compensate this.. :-l
i promise.

Oh yes..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
mum.. =) (mum's was borned on the 26th of January..)
i love and miss you like crazy more than anyone else in this universe,ma..

happy birthday to jiachyi too.. ^.^

2009-01-25T11:45:00.001+05:30

Send this eCard !

My heart bleeds for these meaningful advertisements... T.T

2009-01-24T01:25:00.000+05:30

Beautiful and touching Petronas advertisements.. :)

2009-01-24T01:15:00.001+05:30

Sian Lin...i was actually holding back my tears when i watched this commercial with you.. :-(

2009-01-24T01:03:00.004+05:30

Solitude Vs Loneliness

2009-01-22T19:52:00.009+05:30

One can be alone..
but not lonely..
One can be lonely..
but not alone..
One can appear not to be lonely..
but feels it deep inside..

for no one thinks in a same way...

People will neither understand another person deeply nor
try with all their might to know another person in deep..
and that is totally understandable..

Situation worsens when there's lack of:
Acceptance...

It's hard to please everyone..
but
if only it just happens.. :-(

Just like how a drop of poison into a pot of honey turns it into nothing..
A drop of poison into a person's heart turns one into nothing..
No one remembers how sweet it was..
how hard the busy bee have worked for it..

All we know is that the pot of honey,
is now useless.

Absence makes the heart grows fonder..
Perhaps we feel lonely for the things we didn't know we are lonely for
until it becomes out of reach..

Absence makes the heart go wander..
Makes it wander too far away..
..and..
i hate this feeling in the midst of exam.. :-(

...Out of sight,
Out of mind..?
i am not sure whether it is true..
but
it never happened to me..

p/s: I wanna go home for Chinese New Year.......
sobs :'(

It's all in purple again....! ^^ winks

2009-01-22T11:11:00.002+05:30

Calm down..

2009-01-20T20:18:00.002+05:30

Cool down..
no use being panic.

Whatever is wasted is wasted..
You can't bring them back..

but the future is still there for you..

so..

Move on..
No use brooding over the past..

after all,i am just a normal human being..(maybe slightly abnormal when it comes to spoiling myself..) :-(

Well..
take it as a lesson then..

Be confident..
i can do it..
yes i can..

Wait for my good news..
and
please pray for me..
*winks* =)

2009-01-19T22:15:00.006+05:30

CRITICAL
16days to university exam.
STOP PROCRASTINATING!
get started! get started! gear up! gear up!!!
WAKE UP! WAKE UP!!
NO CHINESE NEW YEAR MOOD!!!
STOP WASTING TIME ONLINE!!!!!!

come on.......
be a good girl for a few more weeks..... :-( sobs..
just for a few more weeks.....a few more days indeed...... :-(

LIM SIN SIUEW.
this is not something to be joked about.
YOUR FUTURE LIES IN YOUR HANDS..
don't ruin it with your very own hands...
treasure what you have now.
OR
REGRET F-O-R-E-V-E-R.

Horoscope..LOL (to free..?? not really.. :'( ) :p bluekks! ^.^

2009-01-19T00:01:00.004+05:30

Emotion is the pitfall of Cancer people. As changeable as their ruler, the Moon, these subjects may shift in minutes from stable, normal, "happy" individuals into victims of deep navy blue feelings of gloom and doom. There's a quality of charming despair in Cancerian moodiness which can not only break hearts, but can sometimes actually win them.

Cancers make fabulous partners for home-loving people. The Cancer's nest is where he feels safest and at his most secure. As security is the main preoccupation of most Cancers, a good home with comfy furnishings, a few kids and dogs and a built-in wall safe is about the best thing that can happen to them. In this atmosphere of cushions and curtains Cancer thrives. For the Cancer subject, home is love is home is love, etc.

Cancers are good at making money; they hold executive positions and assume responsibilities with aplomb. You will rarely find a poor-but-happy Cancer. Cancerians very seldom decide to throw it all up and become a hippie or a freelance bohemian. They don't necessarily like the system or the constraints it places on them, but of all the signs of the Occidental zodiac, Cancers are the most capable of placing nose to dull old grindstone and keeping it there. The Cancer wants comfort for himself, but he also enjoys providing for his family in a generous way.

Cancers are traditionalists. Where you might have hung a supremely abstract painting over your mantelpiece, the Cancer will have put portraits of his dour-looking grandparents, which he dug out of the attic because nobody else wanted them. They will surely be framed in antique frames and will hold the place or honor in Cancer's heart. Cancer prefers antiques to formica and longs for his son or daughter to become a doctor, a lawyer or a sure-fire accountant.

If you have a Cancer for a friend, you know what loyalty and devotion mean. Cancer people usually make their friends young and keep them for life. And, as Cancers are fairly intransigent, they are easily hurt if the friends in question do not return their devotion. They will forgive. But Cancers never forget.

If someone asked me to describe the worst aspect of Cancer subjects, I would not say "moods" or "grabbiness." Instead I would have to speak of the Cancer's tendency to hypersensitivity. Cancer is easily offended and susceptible to criticism the way six-year-olds are susceptible to chicken pox. A tiny word of criticism can bring on one of Cancer's legendary moods and the criticizer may go on the black list for quite a long time.

Cancers are jealous too. They own the people they live with and are possessive to a fault about their loved ones. They are not, however, tyrannical about this weakness.

The idea is not "I bought you and therefore I own you." No. It's more like "I love you so much and care so profoundly that I cannot believe you dared be attracted to that other (less serious) person."

Cancer is also easily hurt by cutting remarks. In love, Cancer gives his all. It's impossible for him to understand someone who doles out their love in tiny eye-dropper doses.

Terrible.Horrible.And.Vegetable.

2009-01-18T18:42:00.003+05:30

This is what i have done today WHEN i have anatomy revision class tomorrow:-
1a.m. - sleep
12p.m. - woke up with a shock (i didn't wake up throughout my sleep) :-O
12.30p.m.- lunch
1p.m. - go online
around 1.40p.m.- SLEEP AGAIN
6-20p.m.-wake up
after that...
chat....chat.....chat....... =( :p
no study....hrmmmm.... T.T

Time to take the challenge with courage!

2009-01-15T13:46:00.006+05:30

3weeks..
Will utilise my whole 3hours to sleeeeep before going out to find a new room...! ^^
i promise to start studying hard TONIGHT onwards.
No more procrastinating.

Can't wait to get started with the study of human anatomy,embryology,histology,
my dearEST physiology :-) and biochemistry...!! ^_^
hooray...!! ^^ la~la~lalala... *smiles* =)

i don't believe that i can't master them in 3weeks.
no,i still can't believe.. ;-)

i can do it,OF COURSE... *winks* =D

hehe...feel much happier now.. =)

be happy~be joyful~be merry always..! :-) ^^

p/s: if i could survive for 1year,WHY NOT 3WEEKS?? ;)

i didn't try my best... :-(

2009-01-10T23:31:00.006+05:30

Rainbow..... :-(
Please appear tomorrow....

i have been so lazy... :-(
my room is just too cozy..... :-(
just cant understand how i can manage to waste so much time when my workload is heavy like crazy.. :-(

sigh..
target is always set high..
something not tough,
but plans always turn out to be rough.. :-(

angry angry angry angry with myself... :-(
at the same time,feel so sorry for myself...

time..
can you please reverse for me...?

i vow to study super-duper hard during my 3weeks' study break.. :-l
don't want this serious matter (laziness) to reach its peak..
for good luck might not come in a streak... :-(

just like how seeds never grow when not sown onto the ground..
success will never come without determination being bound..

scared...scared...scared.... :-(

Overjoyed...!!! ^_^ hooray...!!! =D =D =D

2009-01-09T14:42:00.008+05:30

Thank God for sending me such wonderful anatomy lecturers in block4,especially... :) :) :)

thanks to all my friends who never fail to guide me and offer me constant support too..

thanks mum,for willing to listen to me and my MountEverest-height of complains.. >.< :p

i am the luckiest person on earth to have all of you in my life.. :) :) :)
if it's not because of your help,i wouldn't have done well in anatomy dissection today.. =) =) =) relieved,happy and thankful... =)

but..
WAIT.THERE'S A CATCH HERE. :p
Lim Sin Siuew ah.... =p
exam is not over k??? =D =D =D
3more papers to go!

Please pray hard for me..
and i'll try my best too... (-_-)

To my lucky star: i thank you very much.. :)

2009-01-07T15:50:00.004+05:30

Dr.Reem... =) thanks a million for not asking me questions which i cant answer.. :) :) :)
thanks thanks thanks thanks...! =) thanks for making viva very very very much better than expected.. =)
Thank God for everything too.. :) :) :)

Meanwhile,
next mission:
Anatomy viva

adios..! ;)
i am going to strive till the end now.
will do my very very very best!!!
JIAYOU!!!! :-l
God,please be by my side again.. :-(

Failed..

2009-01-03T19:26:00.003+05:30

don't know how not to give up but can't give up no matter what..sobs.. :-(

New Hope..! ^_^

2009-01-02T16:10:00.006+05:30

Completed 1st year syllabus!!! ;) ;) :)

Tomorrow is biochem practical.
i have no time to waste!! :-l
i haven't started revising anything but i am going to get through it!
i am confident that i am going to score well!! ^^
yes i can!!! =)

God,please be by my side.. :)
a few more days to viva,1more week to block exam theory papers and next,
3weeks of study break before my uni exam WHICH MEANS i completing the 1st year of medical school very soon!!!

NO.I WON'T FAIL.
IN FACT,I AM PRETTY SURE THAT I CAN DO IT.
NO MATTER HOW HARD IT IS. :-l
if so many people have been through it,
i can do it as well.. :-l
God,please give me the strength to strive through all these and return to my motherland with success.. (-_-)

GAMBATEH!!!!!! ^^ yeah!! feel much more confident now.. :) :) :)

*smiles*
do wait for my good news,everyone. ;)
do pray for me too..

Yesterday...

2009-01-01T00:00:00.002+05:30

Woops?? what happened yesterday? :p

i have forgotten..!! ^^ =D

2008..

good and bad...

i leave you back. :p

i am a new person now!!

hi...... ^^ =) =) =) (lots and lots of smile for you..) ;) lol.. ^^

Have a fabulous year! ^_^

and
may all of us be happy and optimistic always!! ^_^

说到就一定要做到!!!

2008-12-29T16:01:00.006+05:30

Yes! another new year resolution!! :-l :p

This serves as a reminder to myself: :p

1) think before you say ANYTHING.

2) mean every little thing you've promised to yourself.

3) be disciplined... :-/ hmmm...

The apple of my eye,teared my eyes..not formalin..

2008-12-26T16:16:00.011+05:30

Mr.Soma, :-(

i wasn't sleeping in your class.. :-(

i was in fact trying my very very very very best to pay my fullest attention in your class..

doesn't mean that when i close my eyes,i am sleeping..

it was in fact,due to formalin..

but formalin never teared my eyes...

i was heart-broken..

i am sorry if i made you think that i am not interested in your class..
but..
all i wish to tell you is that,

your anatomy class is one of the classes i love most out of all..

i learn a lot from yr class.. :-)

thank you,dr.soma..

honestly..
I HAVE NEVER SLEPT IN ANY CLASS AND WILL NEVER SLEEP IN CLASS NO MATTER HOW SLEEPY I FEEL...

although i was quite down for a while during your class just now..,

i might be slow..

i might look blur...

and yes,i did yawn in your class at the beginning of it..

but i am paying attention.... :-(

and was trying my very best to listen to each and every word you say...

i will not get discouraged.. :-) ;)

i will prove to you that i am one of your good students..

and will try my best not to dissapoint you.. ;)

NOW.
GAMBATEH!!!!!! :-l

ahh...feeling much better.. :)

lalala..I CAN DO IT.YES I CAN!! ^.^
reminder to myself:
STOP BEING TOO EMO! =D lol.. :p

New Year Resolutions..

2008-12-25T12:40:00.005+05:30

Click and drag if you wish to view my new year resolutions..! ^.^

(START)
1) to be a very very very kind,understanding and helpful girl.. wanna be a goooood lil' angel..! ^^:p
2) to study very very very hard so that I can be a doctor with all brain and all heart in future..
3) never get angry or hurt easily and never get too emotional easily..lol =D (in other words,I want to increase my EQ level ^.^)
4) to grow thinner.. =D lol..promise to lose 5kg this year.. ;)
5) to pay my 100% concentration in everything I do but at the same time,don’t mix them up! :-l
6) to go online only when it’s needed
(END)

I am very confident that I can do it..! ;)

White Christmas.. :-)

2008-12-25T10:33:00.014+05:30

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas..! ^^

Dear Santa,
I have not been a very good girl this year.. :-(

Please forgive me for all my sins..
but
Can you please bring all the dreams that people in my life wish for to reality..?

These are some additional wishes i wish for my loved ones:
For my daddy..
No more gout pain please..?

For my mummy..
No more diarrhoea by this evening so that she can attend her best friend's daughter's wedding dinner tonight,please..?

For my friends..
Please bring success in everything they do..

For my teachers and lectures..
lots of thank you notes to them for all their guidance..

For the people at the slum area..
May they be well,may they be happy..

Same goes to my aunts,uncles and my 7sweet cousins..
Santa,
Please grant their wishes too..

Santa,
i don't deserve anything sweet for this Christmas.. :'(
but
All i want for Christmas is just to turn over a new leaf,
to be a very very good girl now till forever..
(i did receive chocs frm natalie,huipheng and min,though..!oh ya..! n lots n lots of X'mas sms! ^^ Santa,i am so lucky to have them here in Manipal ) :)

Anyway,i hope you'll like the snowman i've left for you.. :)

p/s: please say "hi" to Rudolph!! =D my palatine tonsils are no longer having the same colour as its shinny little nose..! ^.^

With lotsa love,
sinsiuew

India: Labour of love.. =)

Missing: My warm heart...

My last post here... :)

在印度过的难忘生日......=]

Hmm..i start to ponder over SUICIDE after today's morning lecture.. =/

Craving for a library at home. :p

Having a sudden interest about 'introverts'.. =P

Voice of my heart~

My scientific perspective regarding mistakes.. =p

Choi Siwon ^^

R.A.N.D.O.M

Yes..It's me..i am unhealthy..and i have no control over it... :(

SS..Shall i compare thee to a degenerating joint.. =P

Hehe.. :p

1st New Year Present.... =)

Feeling a little better.. =)

A paroxysm of emotions..

The Noble Eightfold Path..

Chronic Osteomyelitis

i never knew that you are soooo precious to me! =)

不能说的秘密..yet i have said it,anyway; that is if you get what i mean.. >.<

On Christmas eve..

10 New Year Resolutions for year 2010! ^^

12:00AM..

Random.. ^^

Stay electronegative always! ^^ do not accept any electrons.. =D =p

Request: Ags, can you please clear off soon..? =(

The members of herpesviridae-- creeping into me..killing me silently..

The natural inhabitants of the human body..

Scared.. :(

"a removed L from Lover, n its all OVER.." (quoted from a friend's fb post) =)

Numb: emotionless+emotions= neutralisation

Love this song.. :)

Not everyone's brainwave has the same wavelength..

=) A song that keeps playing in my cerebral cortex..

Reflection..

My very 1st surprises on the 21st year of my life.. :-)

Random.. :p

Sweet poison.

Under one roof..

When time is incongrous to workload..

i am going home...

Pretender..?

To: my first love.. =)

practicing.. :p

Happy birthday, Buddha.. ^.^

It is just the beginning..?

Mr.Ravi is right... =(

Sad-a-day..

My heart sank at the bank... T.T

Result of 'kepoh'ing at Nat's blog.. ^^ =p

Panic-striken

A nostalgia for the olden days.... :-(

Sunday afternoon..

Time flies..

Randomly from siuew-siuew!

What I have done.. =)

Time to turn over a new leaf.. =)

A Shunt Back To The Path Not Taken..?

Transition of Post-Pre Exam Syndrome *the worst syndrome ever* :-p

Relieved???... =)

Biochemistry

To run a race against TIME.

BE STRONG.BE STRONG.I CAN DO IT. :-l

[Medical School WAR (I)] lol.. :-p

On the verge of breaking down..

Impetus!

Escaped : with glory.. :)

This serves as a reminder to myself,since tomorrow is a new year of lunar calendar.. ;)

My heart bleeds for these meaningful advertisements... T.T

Beautiful and touching Petronas advertisements.. :)

Sian Lin...i was actually holding back my tears when i watched this commercial with you.. :-(

Solitude Vs Loneliness

It's all in purple again....! ^^ *winks*

Calm down..

Horoscope..LOL (to free..?? not really.. :'( ) :p bluekks! ^.^

Terrible.Horrible.And.Vegetable.

Time to take the challenge with courage!

i didn't try my best... :-(

Overjoyed...!!! ^_^ hooray...!!! =D =D =D

Transition of Post-Pre Exam Syndrome the worst syndrome ever :-p

It's all in purple again....! ^^ winks